Wednesday, January 27, 2016

the things i had to pay

it sucks when it took u a long time to realise that u had taken things for granted when some things were once in ur hands.

i never really understood y but nw i do.
it was my prob to begin with as i analyse d happenings years ago.

i never took the time to appreciate his presence. as i tried to give some thoughts on the things happened, i realised that i never really taken him seriously. not that my feelings werent sincere bt i guess my feelings werent as strong as i thought it was.

i never faced him seriously. i never properly heard him sing when he was singing. if i did, i wont forget hw he sang to me.
i never properly stared in his eyes and actually looked at him. if i did, i wont forget hw he looked like when he was staring at my face.
there were so many things that i took for granted and maybe that is y He took him away from me. i didnt appreciate him.

hmph!
the relationship failed bcoz i turned the towel in much sooner than him.
he just made it look like it was him who gave it up bt i know better nw. no, i didnt blame him for everything. i admitted i did my part too. i just didnt realise what i have done.

so, it was true that he was the one spoiling me instead d other way around.

jd, boleh ke aku mncabar diri aku utk mngaku cinta sedangkn aku yg da brsedia utk melepaskn?

sbnarnya, sekuat mana cinta aku jika dbndingkn dgn dia pd masa tu.

akhirnya, aku da sedar walaupn da trlalu lmbat yg prasaan aku x kuat. akhirnya aku faham kenapa Allah tarik dia dr hidup aku :)

aku x brsungguh. aku xnk buat alasan kt sini. cukuplah aku katakan aku yg x brsungguh.

kpd dia, sy minta maaf. akhirnya sy fhm knape kita xkn dpt brsama. it took me a while to understand. i wasnt ready for u then, hw can i b ready nw? yes, i have my insecurities bt i wasnt strong enough to believe that u can guarantee me of my own feelings. u must been very insecure urself at that time seeing me like that. hw dare of me to say that i love u. huh! tp walopn sy da sedar ttg tu, masih lg realitinya sama. the fact that u and i cant b together still remains. i wonder if we ever realised what were our insecurities back then. kita x pnh properly talk abt it huh? :)

xpela. ada hikmah dsebalik kejadian. itu sy pegang smpai bebila.

nw it's ur turn.






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