Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Though it hurts like a thousand needles in the heart but will pull it through.

sigh.

i hate when those feelings that i've got so hard to suppress through all these years suddenly emerge for that one particular night =.=" i don't know actually why those feelings started to overwhelm me at a certain time. mostly the times when i suddenly thought of him. sigh again.

for instance, last night was quite a war. it hurt me a lot to battle with those feelings that i've kept hidden for all these years. it made me felt so angry and sad. but since i am such a stubborn lady + somewhat egoistic, i fought the battle long and hard. can say i fought with the feelings til i fell asleep.

why...? i always wonder. like this song - Cinta Dan Benci - Geisha it's not that i always think abt that particular person =.=" believe me, i've had lots of other things to think about. for that particular person, it hurt a lot. seriously. so many times i tried to brush off hard those lingering feelings and add them up with all the hurt and pain and disappointment and hatred...yeah, i rubbed all the negativity to make the wound more hurtful to bear so that i could wake up to reality.

미친거니 - 송지은. . .like this song too, i dun wanna cry anymore eventhough i really never cried over this matter =.=" it's the inside that had been crying from time to time. sigh again. that is why i don't like to hear depressing songs =.=" they made me remember all those agony and the process that i've endured all those years.homaiiii~ . . .

i hate. with a straight face, i was never a fan when this thing happen. sigh.

but like this song - Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Louis Armstrong. . .i'll find my way :) InSyaAllah. let's be positive nw. huhu. i'll find someone that have all the time in the world to woo me, to love me, to miss me, to care me, to protect me, and put up with all the nonsense that i might make enough to drive him mad. haha. one day.

by the time my knight in shining armor come to my side, i'll heal and let myself enjoy all the borrowed blessings i've received from The One Above. maybe, just maybe. . . by the time my one & only come to my saving, all those love songs, all those heart-wrenching love songs will be about him and NOT the one in my past. all those beautiful, aching quotes and lyrics will only be about him and NOT the one in the past.Aamiin.

for nw, let's enjoy life shall we? hehe. :) like Go - Aziatix it's time to party and live life without the past dragging me down. Adios ! Gonna go faraway, far, far away. Never gonna be the one i was before. so baby, i'm gonna go away :) haha.






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