Wednesday, November 30, 2011

oi. where are you?

everybody is asleep already.
me ?
still waiting for a certain someone to miraculously appear =.="

ma eyes are heavy already bt i'm still hoping that i'll get a chance to say things to that certain somebody.


i know what i'm getting myself into anyway.
bt sometimes, it's too much for me to bear.
i need to be extra patient, extra tolerant and extra forgiving.
waiting someone sucks, u know =.="
i hate waiting bt hey! i've been waiting for this single human being for many years already.
i dunno when i've started waiting for that person anyway. =.="
i wasnt aware of me doing it.
it came natural to me to be waiting for this person eventhough i noe that person won't come anyway.
yeah, it'll break ma heart into pieces bt i am willing to wait for this stupid person =.="

i guess, it's harmless to say that this act is an act of love + compassion towards that person.

i realised i have to be very patient with this person far more than it requires me to do so in the past.
i realised i have to be very tolerant with this person far more than i had to before.
eventhough i dun like to admit it bt things have changed since that day.
drastically even.
towards a future that i can never could picture it in ma head.

ma feelings for this certain person is absolute bt i have my limits.
dun test me.
as easily as i can love someone sincerely, d same applies when i need to be cruel to someone too.
though not so much, bt my actions sometyms hurt more inside than the outside.

zalim er?

so pls sayang, dun test me so much.
ma patience can go so high bt it can come down as easily as well.
u noe i tend to destroy myself a lot with lots of IFs in ma head alone =.="
so, dun make me do something that'll make me be a bit cruel to u.

hurry back.

little notes : in Johor rite nw. saw too many yellow cars today =.=" gave me a lot of heartaches + cursing to a certain somebody =.=" hadoiiii la~

2 done.[♥]

Saturday, November 26, 2011

tak boleh lah ! grr~


ade byk nk citer tp xleh =.="

well, i've got to go down to N9 for ma friend's sister's wedding :D

so, xleh nk update sgt la yek ! :D

ok ah =.="

when i'm back, i'll spill everything kay ? ;) *almost everything.heee~

0 done.[♥]

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

reformat ma heart.

kan best kalo aku bleh reformat balik memori palahutak + hati aku ? *sigh*

i dun understand hw can i have dis one feeling for one stupid person =.="

belambak lelaki kt luar sane tp die yg grab hold on ma heartstrings.


xbleh ke aku ske org len plak?

hadoi~ =.="

xleh ke pakwe aku cam Logan Lerman ke ♥ wahahaha!
Alan Luo ke ♥
Nic Tse ke ♥
Stephen Fung ke ♥
Vic Zhou ke ♥
Nakayama Yuma ke ♥
Kanata Hongo ke ♥
Yamashita Tomohisa ke ♥
Kamenashi Kazuya ke ♥
Mizushima Hiro ke ♥

ok =.=" d list juz go on n on n on~
bt i'm stuck wif dis jerk =.="

xde ke ubat hilangkn perasaan kasih + sayang ke atas sesuatu manusia/brg/binatang ?
kalo ade, nk beli ah =.="
nk buang so that aku bleh brasmaradana dgn manusia lain.
mwahahahaha~ >:)

k ah.


2 done.[♥]

Monday, November 21, 2011

Selamat Diijabkabulkn. Alhamdulillah.

sweet kn ?
aku ske ^^
nnti bile wa plak maw nikah, wa maw Cik Abg wa buat vid camneh *berangan skjap*
wah~ bleh simpan ke anak cucu w0oooo~ hahahaha~
papehal, didoakn penyatuan Deqwan + Dalili Michelle Abdullah dirahmati Allah swt. amin !


2 done.[♥]

Saturday, November 19, 2011

aiyaaa~ TT_____TT

missing someone sucks =.=" sigh~

0 done.[♥]

Thursday, November 17, 2011

together forever in Jannah ?


it is sad to be not with ur husband when everything's over.

1. Wanita yang meninggal dunia sebelum berkahwin.
Wanita yang meninggal dunia sebelum berkahwin akan dikahwinkan oleh Allah SWT di syurga kelak dengan seorang lelaki di kalangan ahli syurga.
Rasullullah SAW bersabda ‘ Tiada si bujang di dalam syurga’ (Muslim).
Ini kerana ada juga lelaki belum berkahwin yang meninggal dunia.

2. Wanita yang meninggal dunia setelah diceraikan dan tidak berkahwin sesudahnya.
Wanita ini juga akan dikahwinkan oleh Allah SWT dengan lelaki daripada ahli syurga.

3. Wanita yang meninggal dunia sedangkan suaminya tidak masuk syurga.
Begitu juga wanita yang meninggal dunia yang masuk syurga sedangkan suaminya tidak masuk syurga, akan di kahwinkan oleh Allah dengan serorang daripada lelaki yang masuk syurga.

4. Wanita yang meninggal dunia setelah berkahwin.
Wanita ini akan berada bersama suaminya di syurga kelak sekiranya suaminya masuk syurga.

5. Wanita yang kematian suami dan tidak berkahwin sesudahnya.
Wanita ini akan tetap bersama suaminya yang dikahwini di dunia sekiranya suaminya masuk syurga.

6. Wanita yang kematian suami dan berkahwin sesudahnya.
Wanita yang kematian suami dan berkahwin lain akan bersama lelaki yang terakhir dikahwininya di dunia tidak kira berapa kali dia berkahwin. Suami yang terakhir adalah suaminya di syurga sekiranya suami itu

menjadi ahli syurga.Rasullullah SAW bersabda.. ‘wanita adalah kepunyaan suaminya yang terakhir.


i pray that my future husband + me will be together not only on Earth bt also together in heaven.
maybe it is tempting to be married with a different man in heaven bt can we even wait for our husband if we're thousand years early ?

2 done.[♥]

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

things i dunno. . .

i hate this.when i want to stop, u'll always come and make me change my mind.
i hate this.when i want to give up, u'll always show up somewhere and stopped me from giving up.
i hate this.when i want to throw everything away, u'll always hold my hand and put things back to where they were.
i hate this.ur a jerk for making me even have those intentions to give up =.="
bt ur also the one who stopped me from doing so.

so what are u ?
jerk + prince charming = ???

aiyaaa =.="


so eventually,

which is making me crazy. huh~ this sucks.
so no matter hw my brain tries to think of a way to stop my heart from liking u a lot, no matter hw logic my brain thinks abt the decision i tried to make. . .
my heart juz couldn't help it =.=" *sigh*

i hate this so much.
bt why am i smiling anyway ? huh~!

little notes : Happy Birthday Ma ! da 48 ;p wahaha~! tp ur nt here ;( well, dun mind. let's juz celebrate when ur back home ;) huhu~! da ! tdo !

0 done.[♥]

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

new resolution.




coz i have realised from the minute i laid eyes on u that;


i dun think i can have the luxury to love someone right nw since i have ma hands full.
that is why i reject the man i ever love.
i couldn't have the luxury to live a life as a woman and compete with billions of women on earth =.="
it's tiring sometimes. bt i'm doing myself a favor for avoiding BIG trouble that i dun even want to get caught to.
so, that's my reason.
the only solid reason why i couldn't think of any man right nw =.="
build back my life + ma family so we can be normal again.

therefore i conclude that i am no longer putting myself in the market to find myself a man whom i can love wholeheartedly + give my life to.
for me, right nw, men are worthless.
they are nothing bt trouble.
period. fullstop.
even hw much i care, even hw much i love, even hw much i miss. . .
i'll juz bury all those emotions til i am ready to open up again to someone at the right tym.

good plan eyy ?
i hope so.
amin !

0 done.[♥]

Monday, November 14, 2011

still waiting.

but what's more important is;

sucks ey ? *sigh*

1 done.[♥]

Sunday, November 13, 2011

bila rindu bertandang. . .aiyoyoyoyo~


nothing to write =.="

well, tomorrow gonna send Mdm to d airport.


feelin' a bit downhearted.
x ckp mkn ?
i guess i'm feeling this way can blame one person only.
hadoi la Mohamad Najib, Mohamad Najib =.="
why do i miss u so much ?
eventhough i dun want to. . .bt i miss u too damn much =.="
darn !

ja ! matta ashita ne ! huhu~
annyeong ! =D

little notes : i dunno wat d heck is ma heart trying to play anyway =.=" listens to love songs make ma heart ache =.=" darn !

0 done.[♥]

Friday, November 11, 2011

Bcoz I'm Crazy =.="

Tik Tik Tock Tock

Tik Tik Tock
Tik Tik Tock Tock
Tik Tik Tock
Even if time passes, I only think about you everyday
What I told you cause I was drunk
The lie, “Let’s break up”
Now you’re in someone else’s arms
I need you, I love you
“Go away”, those words drive me crazy
I wanted to seem tough so I said the same too but
Even if said, “Fine, let’s never see each other again”
I turned around but I keep regretting

*Days without you, it’s meaningless
Days without you, I can’t live
No one can comfort me
Oh my love, to me again
I don’t wanna be without you

**Even if I get drunk for you to see
Even if I break down for you to see
Even if I’m next to another person
It’s painful, I’m lonely, I keep thinking about you
It’s because I’m crazy crazy
Because I’m crazy crazy about you
Because I hate hate you
Because I hate hate you
Don’t leave my love
My love, my love
I don't wanna let you go

I think I'm so mad about you, crazy about you
I did’t know you’d leave me like this
Can't stop thinking about you
And I can’t live without you
No, Everyday Every single day
I’m sick of it too
Baby, Let me love you down
Break ma heart, Break your heart
Let's come back back back back, back to the start



No, even if I scream to forget about you
Even if my heart stops me to
Just call me Crazy, Crazy
I can’t let you go
Back to you


It’s because I’m crazy crazy
Because I’m crazy crazy about you
Because I hate hate you
Because I hate hate you
Don’t leave my love
My love, my love
I don't wanna let you go

by, Double A - Because I'm Crazy (미쳐서 그래)

i'm feeling exactly like that. whyyyy ? TT_________TT

0 done.[♥]


if one day, ma prince charming is supposed to be YOU. . .
i'll accept it with an open heart + open arms :)

if one day, ma partner in crime is supposed to be YOU. . .
i'll happily live in ur prison for as long as i breathe :)

if one day, ma enemy in debate is supposed to be YOU. . .
i'll b willing to forfeit in total happiness :)

IF one day, YOU are supposedly to be my whole life partner. . .
i will cherish you, love you, miss you, protect you, adore you, fight with you, creating memories with you etc. . .
i will have no regrets nor objection for you in becoming ma sole protector, teacher, bestfriend, partner, father of ma children + lover for the rest of my life :)

bt for nw, i will sit down quietly + let our fate walk its way to cross each other's paths and maybe finally decide whether WE are supposed to be together like FATE had planned for us :)
the FATE that Allah has written for us b4 all this happened. ;)
til that day, i'll stay still and pray for all that is good in our own separate lives.

2 done.[♥]

Perfect Recipe to Beauty

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I don’t have the most perfect skin.
I’m sorry I don’t look like a Victoria Secrets model
I’m sorry I don’t have the best style.
I’m sorry I’m not tall.
I’m sorry I’m not perfectly skinny- 5’7 nor 100 pounds.
I’m sorry I have stretch marks here and there.
I’m sorry I have bad hijab days.
I’m sorry that I’m plain.
I’m sorry my eyebrows aren’t thin and perfectly trimmed.
I’m sorry my face isn’t caked in make-up.
I’m sorry that I can never meet society’s standards.

But you know what?

I don’t need to care about society’s criteria.
I don’t need people to tell me I’m beautiful.
I don’t need compliments to make me feel better.
I don’t need a superficial love that can’t withstand a stretch mark here or chub there.
I don’t need to keep sinking into a never ending pit of low self-esteem.

Because I looked to Allah, and He told me the perfect recipe to be Beautiful.
Not just temporarily, but forever.

“And the servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk upon the earth easily, and when the ignorant address them [harshly], they say [words of] peace,…” [25:63]

“And [they are] those who, when they spend, do so not excessively or sparingly but are ever, between that, [justly] moderate.” [25:67]

“And he who repents and does righteousness does indeed turn to Allah with [accepted] repentance. And [they are] those who do not testify to falsehood, and when they pass near ill speech, they pass by with dignity. And those who, when reminded of the verses of their Lord, do not fall upon them deaf and blind. And those who say, “Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.” Those will be awarded the Chamber for what they patiently endured, and they will be received therein with greetings and [words of] peace.” [25:71-75]

Ya Allah, when the world criticizes me a million times over
Ya Allah, when the world keeps telling me hurtful things
Ya Allah, when the world keeps pushing “ugly” at me.
Give me the courage to hold firm to your Deen.
Ya Allah, as long as I am beautiful to you, nothing else matters.

Ya Allah, even when everyone leaves my side, let me take comfort in the fact that
You are closer to me than my jugular vein [50:16]


0 done.[♥]

nobody really understands anybody. dun say that u understand somebody when u actually dun =.="

no 2 person could understand the same thing.

example :
A loves B.but B goes off and marry C leaving A all A still loves B anyway. B still loves A and wants A in B's life. A thinks it was great to b in B's life again bt stopped cause thinking abt C; What abt C ? I'll break C's heart + trust to B. I'll make their lives bad :( bt i love B so much. What to do ? TT______TT A thought long + hard abt this for years. eventhough B loves A so much, A knows it is wrong. so A quietly take her own way and lives her life out of B's radar.

1st person will understand this :
how loyal is A *awwwww* i wish they could b together. bt stupid B *grrrrrrr*

2nd person will understand this :
A is so stupid. why is she still lingering on with B anyway ? He's married =.=" so buzz off + go find a life la ! >.<"

so, nobody really knows the true story of A, B + C.
eventhough ppl are judgemental towards everything they lay eyes on =.="

moral of d story : dun judge somebody's action or life juz bcause it never happens in urs. u dunno what REALLY happened. juz a bit of this + that to know ur way of knowing the story. dun expect that somebody in ur life is thinking the same thing as u are. they have their own reasons. they have their own thoughts on things they are facing in their lives. so u, as the spectator. . .juz shut up + enjoy the show =.="

little notes : only 1 person who knows me truly without even have to explain thoroughly. selain drpd Allah swt, ade sorg je yg betul² phm walopon aku kedekut nk bgtau sesuatu :D yup, it's you Lil Devil ♥

0 done.[♥]

Happy Bfday Novemberians ♥

well, been very bz these past few days =.="

herm. post pic je ah er.
hahaha~! ;p

snap :

Mdm's advance birthday present ;p wahahaha.Mdm aku syok gile ^^

Mdm da 46yrs old.
da tua da Mdm kesayangan aku neh.

Ma, love u so much ! :*
eventhough i may not be the greatest daughter bt i'm trying ma best to b one ;p
i may not be the most obedient among all ur children bt i'll fight for u anytym.
i may not be the most lenient among all bt i'll come for u whenever u call.
we may have our differences bt pls know that i hold u at best in my heart + in my life ♥

May Allah bless ur life here on earth til Akhirat. amin.

budak november satu lagi, ma dearest sister Cik Aishah :)
she wanted an Ip =.=" hadoiii~
tp, i'll let her have it for next year. hahahaha~ ;p

Angah, love u a trillion ! :*
i may not be the best sister bt i'm trying ma best to b ur friend ^^
we may have our fights + differences bt pls know that u + d others are always ma top priorities in ma life.

May Allah bestow upon you a wondrous life, happiness + love :)
sm0ga dpt jodoh cepat ! ;p
Along nk bby ! hahahaha~

mwahx !

family always at the top of ma list. i hope u guys are too ^^

0 done.[♥]


ngaa ! wokeh ! reply tag ! ;p

i've been tagged by si gorgeous Fey ^^

join contest neh tuk dpt coklat *melelehairluirku* besh besh ♥
mane ah taw menang ke ;p
dpt coklat sejibik. kehkehkeh~

so, sesape yg maw join contest neh please visit Cik Aini ;)

so, pic :D ehee~ den pnyogan sbona eh :"> so amek gambo tuh mmg slalu brduo kow brtigo kow ;p wahaha !
pmbuat contest x marah kn *kelip² mate* hahaha~

pic :

style : funny kut ^-^ heeeee~

tag 3 : tyra|fiezah91|biskut chipsmore

those who have been tagged by me or somebody else regarding this contest, it's entirely up to u to join or not. no force ^^
i tagged to abide the rules =D wehehee~ mianhe ;p

so, gud luck to us all eyy ? ;)

1 done.[♥]

Thursday, November 10, 2011

ripples of reminiscence.


mmpi Infinite ♥

lawak bt happy ;p haha!

love ma boys ♥

k ah =.="

later² post up things regarding previous tag TT______TT
xde idea nk buat ape dgn tag tuh.
jd, jnjln cari ilham.

love seeing couples kiss + make up ^^
they made me feel like being in love is not a bad thing ;p
and together, they're unbeatable.


sadly to say, that period is long gone for me :)
it's nt that i missed it or anything.
these young couples made me feel nostalgic. that's all :)
i pray for these young couples happiness :)

it's nice being young *reminiscing* hahaha~!
cam aku neh tua sangat =.=" cett!
well, have a good day today everyone ^^


ja ne ;p


0 done.[♥]

Infinite - Amazing

So amazing.. so amazing..
Why am I like this. I’m acting weird.
I’m grinning all day long
Why do I act so calm, like I’m absentmindedly crazy?
Even when I get cursed at.

Something feels empty.
Something feels awkward.
I definitely lost something but
Girl~ What did I forget?
I think I hurt my head

But why aren’t you coming (babe babe)
Why aren’t you contacting me (babe babe)
Thump, my heart drops,
this was the thing that I lose

I should’ve lived acting like I didn’t know.
Now that I think about it, my heart hurts too much
Like an absentminded, crazy person
I just lost it and forgot

What’s the problem? What’s wrong?
It already ended
Girl~ There’s nothing that will change
from you being hurt anyways

Amazing… You..
amazing.. Ah so amazing.. amazing..
How did we become strangers?
Amazing… You…
amazing… and I… amazing
How did we become strangers??

by, Infinite - Amazing.

some of d lyrics yg mngena to me =.="
it ended already.
nothing will avoid me from getting hurt anyway.
i know already.

especially yg ini -

"You’re walking down it with some other man
and holding hands
We’re strangers anyways."

ouh darn. =.="
i get it.
that is why eventhough i felt empty, eventhough i felt awkward. . .and being CALM abt it. . .i know what i have lost and i know i can never get it as the same as it was before :)

well =.="
that is life anyway.
i'll get over it. someday.

for d tym being, enjoying my adventure alone trying to get over it + smile.
i know, one day the chosen one will come for me.

0 done.[♥]

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

TAG ! oh no !

got tagged. yesterday kot.
can't do it rite nw :D
still bz. hehe~
so ?
i'll b doing d tags yg u guys made at a later tym ;p

ja ne !

gotta get ready.

annyeong & have a wonderful day today ;)

0 done.[♥]

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

bogoshipda, my girlfriends ;(

i miss ma girls ;(

tp, dsbbkn wa punye kepentingan diri sndiri. . .
wa telah buat keputusan tuk putuskn segala connection yg ade dgn social webs =.="
malas ah.
dr memeningkn diri sndiri, bek wa lesap dr dunia tuh.
dunia yg wa sndiri malas nk amek taw.
being updated when i dun want to even know =.="
reading things that i shouldn't.
seeing things that i shouldn't.
ouh saket mata, saket pala, saket jiwa.

jd bek wa delete segala macam laman sosial neh =.="
d only thing that i left are this blog + twitter.
since i dun tweet much, i juz left it be :)
blog ?
woh~! sayang wohhhhhh~
ehehhh~ ;p

mianhe yoja chinggu-deul ;(
i pray that everything will b well + happy for every single one of you :)
i dun mean to cut all ties wif u over d net ;(
bt pls noe that i'm thinking of u, occasionally ;p
all d tyms we played around. . .joked + teased. . .laughed + cried. . .

i'll cherish all those memories that we create together til d end of ma life ^^
i love u.
pls noe that :)

ouh! sadis la plak TT_____TT

bw laie skali =.="

0 done.[♥]

Monday, November 07, 2011

the reason.

i dun think i could hold anymore :)
friends ? i dun think so. it'll b years b4 that going to happen.

between u and me, it's quite difficult.
we can't be friends, we can't be more than friends.
perfect strangers that knows each other too well :)

if ur asking me abt ma feelings over you, i would say that i do love you.
more than enough, i guess.
i'm tired.

been waiting & waiting like there's hope for tomorrow.
maybe if ur not so strangled up by somebody's rope, maybe i'll continue on holding u til whenever. infinity maybe ^^
bt u are :)
sad truth eyy ?

i guess this is the end of our chapter my dear lil boy :)
i understand hw hard it must have been for u + hw ur dealing wif ur life right nw.
i dun want to make it any harder by pressuring u with having me around asking attention like we used to back in d old days ;p

that is why i'm setting u free. like i should have done years ago.
i dunno if ur greedy or what coz that is ur decision :)
bt mine, i let u go.

i understand.
that is why i'm letting u go.
if u wanna b friends wif ma family, i dun mind.
after all, my mother is still having hopes for u.
bt for us being like we used to be, it's impossible for me to do it nw.
if u want us to be friends with no feelings for each other, u'll have to wait for me to b neutral.
which could take years ;p

u want to hold on ?
it's up to u. ur decision.
i never want to influence u in any way with what ur gonna do with ur future undertakings :)

bt for me, enough already.
i never want to hold on to u anymore.
i never want to break somebody's heart.
i never want to destroy somebody's dream.
i dun want to destroy somebody's home :)

it's impossible for u to juggle everything between work, family + me :)
coz it is never easy nw.
i understand that clearly.
that is my reason for letting u go.

it's impossible for u to do everything + to have everything in ur life.
mesti ada salah satu bnde yg awk nak, x trcapai.
in dis matter, bnde yg awk xleh nk capai is maybe having me for d rest of ur life :)

so, forget abt what had been said between us.
between me + u, u noe it's impossible :)
so live ur life as u see fit.
i will never interfere like i have always done in the past years.
i will never even appear in ur life like i have always done.
coz that is the only way for me not destroying something and make it worse for u, ma lil boy.

take care always.
may Allah bless ur life with everything that u hoped for.
i forgave u. dun worry, i won't forget ;p
bt wishing for ur happiness, i couldn't.
if one day, i can be happy again. on that day, i'll wish for ur happiness.
eheh~ fair ? kn ?

so, b gud to ur family.
love them, cherish them.
for they will always be with you.
marah camne pn, sabar. ingt Allah.
nk campak sume kt lam longkang pn, sabar. ingt Allah.
if by remembering me could ease ur anger + pain in ur life, ingtlah org :)
live ur life + dun have regrets, boy.


9 done.[♥]

Friday, November 04, 2011

Contest Cute Blog Design by Sofya


salam + morning gorgeous boys + handsome girls ^-^

well, better do this b4 i forgot ;p weheheh~
lgpn, nk raye. takut x sempat plak =D heee~

ok ! here goes. . .

thnx tagger, Ms. Sofya :)

done ! :D

heart die punye blog ;p so cute ^^
wish i could b more patient =.="
tp, wa da buat byk sgt layout wa da x hengat suda =.="
bile tym malas melanda, dok dpn pc pn x hengen =.=" lalalalala~

abt mine eyy ?
i guess mine's alright *big grin*
agak puas hati sbb loading pn x lambat, bersih + agak kemas [for me la ;p]
i'm nt ready yet to delete all d nuffies *big grin* tp insyaAllah, one day.
it's amazing hw i can b loyal wif one thing + bored with it ryt at d next second =.=" huhh~
cute ke blog ? maybe la *senyum sipu²*
i juz wanna make ma blog comfortable to ma eyes ^-^
bt if it made other ppls' eyes comfortable as well, it'll b super ! *big grin again*

k ah. nk smbung tdo =.="
ngntok laie neh.
kang nk poie amek Mdm kek airport Ktn. huhuhuhu~

matta ne ;p

annyeong !

2 done.[♥]

Thursday, November 03, 2011

tagged !

aku ingt aku xkn di-tag oleh sesape. sekali kna tag da TT____TT
xpo. wa ske ;p

whoever will b tagged by me, i dun force u to post it up or anything.
juz wanna follow d rules ^-^ kehkehkeh~

here it goes !

I have been tagged by Ms. Biskut Chipsmore :) check her out ! ^-^

Rules :

Sect A :

1.You must post this rule

2.Each person must post 11 themselves in their journal

3.Answer the question the tagger set for you in their post and create eleven new questions for the people you tagged to answer

4.You have to choose eleven people to tagged and link them to the post

5.Go to their page and tell them you have tagged HIM/HER

6.No tag Back !

7.No stuff in the tagging section about "YOU ARE TAG IF YOU READING THIS" YOU LEGIMATELLY (a.k.a REALLY,TRUST,WITH ALL HONEST)have tagged 11 people.

uhuk~! quite a lot =^-^=

Q. Each person must post 11 themselves in their journal.

11 things abt me eyy ? let's see :

• i'm not a talker bt if i do talk, it means i'm comfortable ^^
• d day i was born, d day was scorching hot then rained heavily at d tym of ma arrival ;p cool huh ? ;p
• when i'm determined in doing something and i did do it, usually i'll regret it after few minutes bt stay strong wif ma decision anyway.
• i love rain bt i dun like getting myself wet especially if i finally took d tym to dress up nicely =.="
• i love music && singing in d toilet is alien to me ;p i nvr really sang in d toilet bt rather sang a song when i'm on ma guitar ^-^
• i LOVE cartoons ! be it anime, disney or watever ;p hahaha~
• i like to see ppl doing exercises + stuffs bt HATE to do it =.="
• i LOVE library. the smell of the books, the way they were categorized by their types + names are cool to me. haha~
• when ppl 1st tym seeing me, ppl always say that my personality + my looks making me look like the youngest in the family =.=" haishhh~
• i'm nt good in expressing fondness to other ppl. be it ma own mother =.=" haihhh~
• love THEMEPARKS !! haha~

next, questions frm the tagger, Ms. Biskut Chipsmore

Q. Apa url blog korang.. ?? meh kongsi sikit sejarahnya
A., why ? i love snow, i love bear. and most importantly, somebody says i'm like a polarbear =.=" darn! eventhough d reason behind it was quite sweet ^-^

Q. blog korang lebih kepada apa??
A. my opinions in life + personal stuffs ^-^

Q. blog yang korang selalu bukak / wajib bukak =,=
A. mine la ! ^-^ hahahaha~

Q. korang blogger dari negeri mana?
A. ambo dr Terengganu ^-^ bt i suck trg dialect =.=" *sigh* [bermastautin shj ^-^]

Q. keje ke study lagi??
A. both. tp bkn smpai thp diploma ke ape. everyday i'm learning, everyday i'm working ^-^

Q. facebook korang apa ek??
A. i dun fb anymore ^-^ hehe~

Q. berapa kali jer entry korang keluar dalam seminggu?
A. sometyms more than 5, sometyms less than none =.="

Q. Gajet apa korang ada??
A. Canon Powershot S95, Sony DigiCam, LG Lollipop, Iphone4, Sony Ericsson [jenis flipflop lupe da namo eh =.="]

Q. Pakai duit sapa beli gajet gajet tu?
A. parents + mine ^-^

Q. pergh!! apa lagi aku nak tanya ni?? tolong bagi jawapan untuk ni..
A. da mandi ke blom ? hahahahaha !

Q. Last sekali... da ada pasangan ke belum??
A. nope ! still single + ready to mingle ;p

next, new set of questions from Me :)

1. da mkn ?
2. what do you think about fashion wanita muslimah brhijab nowadays ?
3. who's ur favourite man in your life ?
4. who's ur confidante when ur feeling down + need a boost up ?
5. what do u mostly do when ur down ?
6. what is ur opinion on d new generation men these days ?
7. ur favourite cartoon when ur a child.
8. books / magazines or newspaper ?
9. BigMac, garden salad or tuna sandwich ?
10. what's d 1st thing u do when u wake up ?
11. what's d last thing u do when ur ready for bed ?

haha~! i noe some of the questions agak merepek =.=" bt hey, humor me ;p lalala~

ok ! the honoured ones that i've tagged :

pergh !

my part's done ^-^

7 done.[♥]

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

let's see if ur brave enough boy.

i woke up to a dream of him. again~ =.="
i guess, i'm too worked out abt him.

i dunno =.="
i dunno what i'm doing is wrong or right anymore.
i thought i will nvr have ma chest to thump hard enough to make me hard to breathe before shutting ma eyes to sleep.
it's painful.
i tried easing d pain with massaging it slowly, to make me breathe normal.
still, breathing is causing me too much pain too.

why ?
why do i have this kind of pain again ?
i thought it's over when i decide it's done.
i thought that i will never again feel like this after what i've done.
tp suddenly, the pain came back.
the pain of missing him too much, wanting him too much, needing him too much. . .loving him too much.
bt i know that i can't. *sigh*

do i still love him ?
i thought deep about this.
for days, i've been torturing myself with split identities to have ma own question, answered.

and d answer is ?
Ya Allah, YES !
i'm still madly in love with this jerk =.="
eventhough my dream was a bit faint + hazy bt i could make out his voice.
that voice which i missed so much to hear.
him cracking stupid jokes to make me laugh.
him soothing me to make it all better.
him hitting on me when i needed a bit of romantic feelings ;p

i looked deep within myself and i finally found ma answer.
i can't stop loving him. *sigh*
i can't stop wanting him.
i can't stop needing him.
i can't stop missing him too much.

why ?
why can't i juz be mean and selfish ? =.="
i'm torturing myself with being noble and all =.="
bt i'm clear to all that might possibly happen if i'm pushing it through.
i WILL make somebody's heart break into millions of pieces, d same way mine had broke years ago.
i WILL make somebody's life miserable, d same way mine was and still is miserable.
i WILL make somebody hating me eventhough i never hate anyone for making me through all those crap for years.
nak dijadikan citer, i dun want to destroy someone juz like the way i was destroyed by a certain person years ago.

aku xmo hancurkn hidup seseorg walopn org tuh brdosa kt aku sekalipn.
aku x dbesarkn camtu.

yes, tipu ah kalo kate aku xmo lelaki itu dalam hidup aku.
tapi aku xbleh tutup mate to everything else.
aku x ckup kuat tuk mngharungi sume keje gile tuh.
unless if he showed me something to make me believe that i'm doing d right thing to fight on hard.

tp he didn't.
die x tunjukkn pape to me to make me believe that he wants a future where i am in it.
die x tunjukkn pape malah x buat pape effort pn tuk dptkn aku balik for sure.

well, hellooooo~
it's been years already since that day.
i want to believe that u want me, need me, love me + miss me =.="
i want u to show me.
kan org da kate, do not stop mengurat me.
where's d effort ?
i dun see anything coming frm u =.="
cam aku lak yg trhegeh² nk fight for us tp ur not.
it hurts u know =.="

kalo ko nk aku, prove it.
kalo ko xmo lepaskn aku, prove it.
so that i can sort out ma head n clear all the unnecessary things to focus a life with you in my future.

u know why i did that ?
it's because i dun feel. . . i dun see any effort from you wanting me by ur side.
u dun like me being idle and mcm x peduli, me either.
i dun like u being idle and buat xtaw cam u dun bother with what might happen to me.
juz because ma guardian had approved of us doesn't mean u won everything =.="
YOU still have unfinished business with me, dude =.="

YOU still have to apologize with what u put me through all these years.
YOU still have to work hard to have me confident in you again.
YOU still have to mend all those pain u caused me through all these years.
senang citer, YOU have to ngorat me again =.="

a few times on ym doesn't mean u got me already ok =.="
3yrs dbandingkn a few times on ym tuh x memadai ok =.="
lgpn, ur not really courting me anyway.
u didn't make a move on me pun. it's like ur confident that u had me already.

well, sorry bro =.="
u didn't have me yet.
u think i forget all those hurt + pain u've caused me ?
u think juz a simple helo will make me melt under ur feet ?
ouh tidakkkk~ [-x
u have to try harder than that la bro =.="

so, moral of d story : come and ngorat me if u dare >:/
i wanna see hw ready are you to make me urs again.
i wanna see hw ready are you to face all possible situations we'll b having if u chose to have me back.
i wanna see hw strong + brave u are.
i wanna see if ur not afraid to hold on to ma hand til our time's up while facing all the consequences with me.
so, game enough to take that challenge boy ?

yeah, u can have me bt i didn't say i'll make it any easier for u =.="
u passed one obstacle which was facing ma guardian.
hw abt passing me ?


u think i'll juz give in to u ?
salah tuh.
i will never give in to u that easy dude *smug*
u have to earn my trust.
u have to earn my heart again.
and this time, i won't make it easy for u to have my heart back.

no, it wouldn't be easy.

hmph !

6 done.[♥]



ma eyes are for days already i've been haunted by certain words.


aku trperangkap lagi skali.
ape aku nk buat neh ? =.="
aku tataw tuh statement ke satu soalan =.="
aku tataw nk balas ape.

ouh buntu =.="

k ah.


||pic credit to Mr.Google||

0 done.[♥]

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

woot woottt~


on a tuesday, and i dunno wat to type here =.="
mate aku tgh tgk Bleach @ Animax =.="
sesambil mncari ilham nk potpet psl ape =.="

Animax waktu mlm, subtitle agak bodo =.="
so, it's better tgk ulangtayang die di keesokkanharinye tuk tgk subtitle penuh.


aku x reti ah g check kt YouTube n cari pakwe² idaman hati tuk mnghiburkn hati aku yg tgh kosong skrng neh =.="
x terer cam adek² aku yg len *sigh*

diorg cam taw je ape yg diorg nk taip + cari kt lam YouTube tuh =.="
guess i'm not really a diehard fan huh ?

kalo nk tgk pn, kna tggu adek² aku donlod klip diorg yg mnggelikn hati tuh tuk tontonan aku ;p

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~ *tarikrambut*
b.o.s.a.n TT_______TT


nk buat projek, tp tataw nk buatpe TT____TT
at least dis past few days aku bz gak mngubah layout aku neh.
skrng, aku da abes. . .aku tataw nk buatpe TT_________TT
ouh tidak~ TT_____TT

k ah.
jln² =D

ja ne ! ouh~! Happy November ! ^-^

alhamdulillah~ smpai juge ke bln 11 bg thn neh :) eheh~

may d end of d year, ma family and i will live more peacefully + happy ^^ we need it.

6 done.[♥]