Sunday, October 31, 2010

I dream of u again.

Arghhhh~ saketnye pewut =.="
Piyed ini sggh mnyakitkn =.="


I dreamt of him again today *sigh*
I really do hope he's fine :(

In d dream, he kept on wanting me to have a conversation despite of me being uncomfortable.
Too many ppl...too noisy...so many eyes watching...
Bt he didn't care.he'll juz talk + talk til I respond to him.
I couldn't look him in d eye.
His eyes looked eager...he really wanted me to talk.
His eyes looked very happy in d same tym very sad...like yearning for sumthing so much bt couldn't keep.
I really couldn't look at those eyes that blurted everything to me.
I knew wat he felt like n knew wat those look mean.bt I was playing daft.

I noe he wants me to understand.I do actually.
Bt I juz play dumb.
He called ma name :( ma heart instantly bcome weak.
That voice :( I missed that voice too much.


Huh~


B, I honestly do hope ur alright ;(
Eventhough we're very far apart bt I cn still feel u, like old tyms.
U noe hw our hearts were linked n couldn't explain hw + y.

Huh~




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Friday, October 29, 2010

ayat² . . .

"cinta ku spt tar diatas jalanraye...kekal smpai bebila. "
"berilah ku hati mu. . .akn ku simpankn hati mu di dlm peti besi bank negara.sbb per ? sbb kalo negara kna jajah pn, bank negara masih ado :p "

bodo kn statement² neh.tp sweet :) akn ku simpan smpai bebila ayat² neh.









**wa rase ini mlm is die nyer malam =.=" wa rindu dak kecik ;( adoi~~!! bebudak neh lak asyik men lagu cinta lam room.bodo !




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smpai menutup mata.

Embun di pagi buta
Menebarkan bau asa
Detik demi detik ku hitung
Inikah saat ku pergi

Oh Tuhan ku cinta dia
Berikanlah aku hidup
Takkan ku sakiti dia
Hukum aku bila terjadi

(Korus)
Aku tak mudah mencintai
Aku tak mudah mengaku ku cinta
Aku tak mudah mengatakan
Aku jatuh cinta

Senandungku hanya untuk cinta
Tirakatku hanya untuk engkau
Tiada dusta sumpah ku cinta
Sampai ku menutup mata
Cintaku sampai ku menutup mata

Oh Tuhan ku cinta dia
Berikanlah aku hidup
Takkan ku sakiti dia
Hukum aku bila terjadi


Sampai Menutup Mata by Acha Septriasa











**cinta wa tuk lu smpai wa menutup mata :)




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blub.blub.blub.

rindu ka aku ?

ye :| haih~ bile la leh ilang ini prasaan *sigh*




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Thursday, October 28, 2010

Mdm g Marudu.

besok Mdm wa nk g Kuantan.
nek flight nk g Kota Kinabalu, Sabah.
buekpo ?
melawat abg beliau yg berada di Marudu. [eh ! betul ka ? huhu..]
maybe a week ? huhu~

juz pray dat she'll b safe in her trip.amin !




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1st reunion after 3yrs :: 241010 ::



ma bffs :)
cinta korg smpai mati ;)
ingt jnji kita : beli ajax gantikn bunge tau mira ! jgn ikut ckp linda.wahahaha ;p

miss u girls so much ! ;(




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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

mixed things.

pening palak =.="

weather forecast for d day :

it's cloudy :) ngaa~

hoohoo~


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kdg² diri ini malas mahu amek kesah. . .
kdg² diri ini x hengen pn nk amek tahu. . .
tp ade je sesuatu ataupn seseorg yg mahukn wa mengetahui hal² trsebut.
nape ?

demm =.="


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i like being alone.
being solitaire makes my seeing things in a diverse kind of way.
not stuck on one kind of viewing.
bt it is rather fun to have sum1 who could share + debate things n matters with.
i wonder when will i find one ?




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sumtyms, i feel like i am not qualify to even have sum1 to call ma own.
my significant other.
sumtyms, i feel like it's better for me being alone.
surrounded myself wif family + friends is a good thing.
bt hw will i cope myself being alone at ma room ?
silence won't kill me. . .bt d thoughts will evade my mind n eventually makes d silence unbearable.

pathetic ?

so pls God, send me someone to help me to deal wif all this.
it's ok for me being alone bt it IS much better if i got sum1 to share d silence with.
then, my world will nvr b so dark + gloomy again.




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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

mencari si dia yg akn mnjdi psgn hidupku.

Wa mncari yg mmpu + brusaha tuk mmperbaiki diri jd lebih baik drpd yg tahu tp x mngerjakan.
Wa mencari yg leh mmbetulkn wa + yg wa leh menegur jika brbuat salah dgn hati yg trbuka sbb wa tegur krna wa syg.
Payah sgt ke nk jmpa manusia cmni ? =.=" grrrr~!




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sudah brzaman. . .

*klik tuk tumbesaran yg bagus*


betul x per statement kt ats ?
woohoo~




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Monday, October 25, 2010

mem0ries + seremban = heartache ?


*klik tuk tumbesaran yg baik*



Herm...
Seremban oh seremban =.="
Bkn stakat bndar tuh je..satu negeri tuh buat aku shivers sumtyms =.="
Agak tencen bt I was happy :)
Gila er ? Huhu...




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summary.

Sat, 23 Oct :
Linda's father passed away due to weak heart nt bcoz of cancer ;( innalillah.
Went to seremban as fast as I could.
Arrived at seremban around 9sumthing-pm.
Met up wif ma old gf, Mira...ma cyg, Max for d 1st tym.wahahahaha...
Sgguh awkward =.="

Sun, 24 Oct :
Went to Linda's home at Kg. Linsum, Rantau.
Naseb wa hengat jln :)) adoi la ! =.="
Glad to see ma old gf again :)
Dsbbkn kegeraman, beliau memicit pp wa for d 1st tym =.=" ngaa
Wa tau beliau xmo wa, Mira, Ms. Ecah + Mr. Edy balik tp wa nk buekpo ? ;(
Wa nk blk umah wa bknnye dokek ! Tramatlah jauh ! Naseb wa ngn adek2 wa da biase jln jauh2 neh =.="
Anto Mira g Nilai. . .jmpe ma cyg, Max kt Nilai jua ;p
Said our last gudbye's . . .n we were off to Trg !

Summary for d last 2days ;p hihi
K ah ! Ngntok.sy nk tdo ! Bye.




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Saturday, October 23, 2010

let go ?

finished watching, Hard To Say I Love You - Japanese drama :)
got JaeJoong in it♥ wahahaha. . .

let go to b happier :) if it's not making oneself happy at least sumbody else's will :)

hermm. . .

d question is, could i ? lalalalala~




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Friday, October 22, 2010

Pa, Amal ;(

I miss ma old man very, VERY much ;(
Couldn't hold him. . .couldn't hug him. . .
It's sad to not seeing his face in d morning n late at nite ;(

I miss ma bby boo too ;(
Used to play around n cuddling each other day til nite. . .
No more whining to ask me to buy him spicy chicken mcdeluxe after school ;(
No more teasing me, cuddling n goofing off at home ;(
Sad to not kiss him every nite b4 he sleeps. . .


Missing u both, Pa. . . Amal ;(
May ur souls are at peace.amin.
AlFatihah.




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Thursday, October 21, 2010

wa cinta lu smpai mati :)

Oi ! Wa nk bgtau neh...

Wa akn tetap cintakn lu...
Sampai mati, wa akn sentiasa cintakn lu...

Walopn wa da kerepot, wa akn sentiasa ingt cinta wa pd lu.
Biar ah wa idop sensorg nnti, wa lebih selesa sbb wa tau wa x mmpu bg hati wa kpd mereka.
Hati wa suda ilang mngikuti lu. . .
Hati wa suda pndai mnyeksa wa skrg neh.
Hati wa x bg wa lupe cinta wa pd lu walopn wa da cube gile babi ah :))
Hati wa menyeksa wa sbb biarkn lu pergi. . .
Hati wa x bg wa lupe sume tuh..
Hati wa akn seksa wa smpai mati :|


Jd, per yg wa mepek kt sini adalah benar.
Ikut lu ah nk caye ke x sbb wa pasrah.
Wa redha.


Dgn pemergian lu, wa akan sentiasa trseksa.
Walopn wa suda gile satu ari nnti pn, wa akn tetap ingt muka lu.
Muka manusia yg wa sgt cinta bgai nk mati.
Huhuhu. . .


Sekian, terima kasih.

Bye.




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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

bebal la !

internet agak bebal =.="
jd maw out :)
bye.




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run.

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dear

Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak, I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbyes
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dear

Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak, I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dear

Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak, I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say


by, Leona Lewis - Run ||thnx.t0.MetroLyrics.com|

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ma fav song :)
words that i wish i could say.
eventhough i'm not by his side any longer, i want him to know that i am always with him.
eventhough he can't hear my voice any longer, i want him to know that i am always here for him.

pathetic ?
u should try telling that to my heart =.="

i couldnt see his face coz i'm scared of tearing up again.
i dun wanna say d word - Goodbye, coz i'm afraid that i will not have d strength to let him go.

huh~
dak kecik~ *sigh*
y do i care so much ?
y do i love so much ?
y do i miss so much ?


y ?
damn ! =.="




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a dream.

Herm.
Hev u ever had dat dream where d person inside ur dream is d one u thought had long forgotten since dat person had nvr appear inside ur dream for a very long tym ?

Huh~
I thought I won't have him inside my dreams anymore since it's been ages he appeared on d last one.
Dis tym, it's a VERY long dream.

He called me..talking stuffs wif me.
It's been a very long tym I had a call frm him.
So, walopn aku xleh nk concentrate wat d hell he's talking abt tp I was savoring d sound of his voice thru ma ear.
D voice dat makes me go crazy..makes me high like I'm on drugs...makes my heart healed much faster than any medicine..
Damn I missed him so !

Ma mom saw me talking on d phone n it had been a long tym for her seeing me on d phone too long.
She began to b suspicious.
She saw me giggling like crazy..laughing n teasing on d receiver.
She knew instantly who was it from.
She was furious..bt dis tym, I didn't back down.I argue bt in a gud way.
I tried making her see wat I would b wif n without him.
I told her hw I feel for him.
I told her dat it was impossible for me to love another, not even marrying any man.
Then, she said alright wif so much weight in her voice.
She met up wif him, asking questions I couldn't hear..
After I even realised wat's going on, we were in a reception.
My wedding reception wif him :)
I saw ma family n friends...
Bt there is only one person I couldn't let ma eyes off to...him.
After all of dat fuss, ma mom making a scene in front of him n me.asking dis n dat from him.
Then, suddenly without saying a word..he sits beside my laying mom...grab her leg n started massaging her.
I was shocked n touched.even ma mom is in shock bt couldn't stop mmbebel tp bebelan die suda jd lembut ;p
He juz kept on massaging her gently...without utter a word.
At dat tym, I fell in love wif him again.
Then, he asked ma mom whether her leg's ok or not.ma mom nodded.
He let go n juz smile to ma mom.I almost fainted seeing him so at ease wif her.ma heart pumped only love for him frm dat moment n so on.

He looked at me, stand up n hugged ma waist.
I knew at dat tym dat we'll gonna b alrite :)
I'll b safe wif him in his arms.he'll protect me frm any harm.
Hahhh~ I love him so much.




.............................................................

Bt yet again, it is only a dream :|
A weird one since it has been a very long tym since I last dreamt of him.
I didn't even think of him d nite b4.
I hope he's alright wherever he is.
And happy wherever he is...

Me ?
Eventhough I'm dying inside, I'm trying to cope anyway.
Dis love will always remain.
Dis tym, it took me longer to heal.
I wonder smpai bile sbb da nk 2thn tp x mmpu nk melepaskn laie. ;(


Demmit !
Y my love for u is too strong, ayg ?
Y ? *sigh*




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Thursday, October 14, 2010

kemalasan tuk update blog =.="

emo mngkin tension.

so, end of typing.

bye.




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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

when ma heart knows. . .

I am waiting here patiently for u.
Waiting for a sign that u've been to see me here.
I noe ur out there looking at me frm afar juz as I am doing it too.
I noe u dun want to let me see u bt I cn feel u ,ma love ;(
D past few days I felt u, ma love ;(
I felt ur presence here in ma heart n I noe dat u've been watching me.
It doesn't make sense bt I cn still feel u inside ma head.
I noe deep down of ma heart, dat u noe I'm looking for u, missing u, calling for u.

Please ;(
Give me a sign u've been here to see me ;(
Please ayg. . .




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whenever ppl ask abt u.

it's hard to stop ppl frm asking me where is he.
it's hard to stop ppl frm asking me why we broke up.

it's hard coz ppl used to see me + him together.
it's hard coz ppl used to see us as an exemplary couple.

today, ade makhluk Tuhan brtny kenapa kami brpisah.
bg makhluk Tuhan tuh, kami adalah couple yg paling sempoi, cool + rileks yg die pnh jmpe.
tetibe je dgr citer suda breakup.

all i can answer is. . .bile family suda masok campur, susah mahu melawan :)
he had to take his way, i had to take mine.
we were forced to lead our separate lives far from each other.


susah er.
y do i can understand dis person who can't forget d one who broke her heart ?
coz i was n still is in that condition.
i can't forget coz i still love him eventhough he broke ma heart ;(


he can do millions of things to get me bt he chose to leave.
i dun blame him.
i noe it's hard.
wat choice can we make selain drpd tuh ?


bt although things had been said + done, i do still in love wif him. :)
it has been 1yr and 8mnths since we broke up for real and 2yrs n 6mths since i last saw his face.


i miss him terribly.huh~




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Tuesday, October 05, 2010

oh cinta.

Lately, I've been wishing so hard to have 1 thing that used to b mine...
Lately, I've been calling out his name so hard in my heart n head until I fell asleep. . .
Lately, I've been wanting him so bad that it hurts. . .
Lately, I've been needing him so terribly that it broke my heart again. . .

Oh cinta,
Aku tau aku ego tp bile aku kata bahawa aku merinduimu, percayalah.
Bila aku kata bahawa aku masih cinta pdmu, percayalah.
Kerna hati ini xkn brbohong cuma lidah shj yg mmpu tuk menipu perasaan yg drasa dlm hati yg brduka lama ini.

Oh cinta,
Percayalah bahwa aku ini sggup korbankn cinta tp tuk alasan yg munasabah.
Percayalah keputusan yg aku buat slama ini adalah kerna cinta ku pdmu.

Oh cinta...
Aku tipu kalo brkata aku xmnghrp kepulanganmu tp apakn daya ku oh cinta ?
Aku x brdaya tuk mngatakn bhwa aku masih menunggumu pulang pdku.

Oh cinta...
Kaulah shj yg aku inginkn, yg aku perlukn dlm hidupku yg kosong tp aku pendamkn shj hasrat hati krn tahu itu akn melukakn prasaan manusia lain.

Oh cinta ;( kenapa ini mesti trjd pd kita ?
Aku hny mmpu brsabar, cinta.


Haih~




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