Chapter : Life, Love, Hate . . . ?

hesshhh~!!!

2012-01-23T23:13:00.004+08:00

some quotes that really touched my heart n couldn't help to acknowledge by nodding =.="

A girl doesn't need to tell you how she feels ?
it's all written in her ♥ eyes ♥
if you can read her silent eyes
u definitely deserve her heart ♥

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Being single is a ch0ice ...! ♥ :) :)
S0me say it's t0 av0id ...
.... heartbreaks ..!
but ...
... ..
s0me ch00se t0 be single ..! ^^
because ..
..... ..
they're still in l0ve ♥
with s0me0ne else ....!!! ♥♥♥ :) :)

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

I think of him 'n our time together
'n the tears come to my eye
I never wanted to see him go
Never wanted to say goodbye

Our time was so special to me
But I guess it's time to move along
he wants to spread his wings 'n fly
To hold him back, I guess that's wrong

I always said you only live once
'n you have to do what it takes
To make yourself content 'n happy
Even if it means some hearts will break

So I let him go, 'n said goodbye
'n he was on his way
If I ever really was in his heart
he'll come back someday... :'(

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

d one that i couldn't help cringe is d last one =.="
ouh saket sgt.
auch auch. . . =.="

lalalalalalalala~

little notes : naik komuter, dr kl central smpai ke seremban. lalu btg benar, aku trbyg² imej die dgn kete kuning die tuh parking kt tepi tuh menunggu aku. dok lam komuter, tringt naik komuter dgn die g jln². sebak. tetibe terindu melampau kt die =.=" *sigh* sadis sadis :( haish~ Mohamad Najib Mohamad Najib =.="

2012-01-22T19:29:00.001+08:00

so when will my heart let him go then? *sigh*
this is so frustrating =.="
shesshh~

piyed neh =.=" die nyer keje ah neh =.="
hesshhhhhh~

mama, anak mu nk kawen !

2012-01-21T11:37:00.002+08:00

kdg² aku malas nk update things kt sini tp aku nk luahkn something, mesti ah aku nk menulis =.="
haish.
tp, aku neh kdg² mmbebel mepek meraban =.="
tuh yg malas.

well, skrng...aku nk mmbebel psl hal yg mmg da lapok =.="
why! is my heart still have this lingering feelings towards someone that i shouldn't have any feelings with? =.="
why!??

die tuh off-limits la >.<"
aku malas nk layan manusia off limits neh =.="
tp wat can one do when someone that he/she loves is that one who are supposed to b wary about =.="
somebody that is beyond our reach...somebody that we shouldn't even venture upclose =.="

sigh~
aku waras lagi la.
aku x ske walopn betape sygnye aku kt die.
my past and his past will always remain in d back of my head and LABELLED as HISTORY.
betapa syg pn aku kt die, betapa cinta pn aku kt die...he IS my past.
ye, aku payah da nk syg org lain...pyh nk terima org lain...
walopn rite nw, i'm struggling to open up to anybody...reach out to anybody who is willing to mend my broken heart.
i may look like somebody who won't probably have any problems abt relationships involving between a man + a woman.
sadly to say, i do.
everyone does. who doesn't =.="

tp si mamat mengom tuh jugak yg aku syg =.="
hadoi~
pdhal bile pk balik, "aku mabok ke mase aku trime mamat neh?"
aku gelak sensorg =.=" huhu.

so, sape yg nk brtggjwb tuk mmbaiki hati aku neh?
sape yg brani tuk mnyayangi aku yg da malas nk open up to anybody?
sape yg brani to take me out from this aching nightmare?
sape yg brani to say that he'll try to b wif me til his last breath?
aku minta byk...juz love me, spend tym with me, treats me like i'm d only girl that exists in his life.
x bleh?
x bykkn?
is it too much for one girl to ask?
we girls have security issues. so agak payah nk penuhkn keinginan yg ini.
hey, ske sgt kate pmpn neh lemah kn =.=" so prove it that u've got BALLS men!
lalalalala~
bkn stakat ckp je. tp at least, tunjukkn yg YOU ARE THE MAN! =.="
betul?
haish~
bile agak² aku nk kawen neh =.="
aku nk kawen, xde plak calon =.="
tencen~!!!

see. da melalut ke bnde lain =.="
neh yg mls aku nk hapdet =.="
mepek meraban je koje nye =.="

da ah. nk mandi.

bye.

i dreamt of u today.

2012-01-20T06:36:00.002+08:00

hermm...

i thought i would nvr have any dream abt him no more.
then here i was, woke up to a dream that i wished i could woke up sooner.

d dream was painful to me. i kept on hoping i could just wake up frm it.
d dream started blurry...then somebody told me that something had happen to him.it made me instantly very sad.
i saw mama's face trying to cheer me up, my sisters too.
my heart was breaking rapidly...aching too much...
for d first tym i want to wake up from a dream. a dream where he was in it.
then there was a lady. too hazy for me to recognise bt i think i now who she was.
she was trying to hurt me with painful things that could make my heart ache even more by having uploading pics + things between her + him.
all i wanna do was creep up somewhere and juz cry.
she said, he doesn't have any feelings for me anymore and love only her.
i know it would be strange for me to feel hurt by that remark since i am no longer important like i was before bt still, it hurts.

sigh~
i thought i wouldn't have any link after i decided to let go.
i thought that link was gone slowly after i decided to forgive him + pray for his happiness with his family.
serious. aku da redha dgn segalanya.
aku siap halalkn segala bnde yg aku da bg kt die for d 3yrs he's been mine.

:-<

that stupid jerk =.="
even in dreams also want to make me hurt ka?
sheeshhh.
bt i guess, i couldnt stop feeling the way that i do.
it has been 6yrs and 2 mths already since i say - i do.
and i still is loving him.
it is difficult to shake it off.

tp xpela.
die da ade org yg jage.
watpe aku nk sebok2 tol?
walaucamne pn, aku still doakn yg baik2 tuk die.
at last, aku doakn die bahagia dgn life die.

he was my knight in shining armor...my prince...the king of my heart.
eventhough we are not together visibly, i guess it is ok to say that we're still connected somewhat by an invisible thread.

kuat gak =.="
walopn skrng neh, die buat dekk je dgn aku =.=" ceh~!
aku majok xmo pujuk =.="
sedih! :(
tp, aku harap yg die masih sygkn aku :(
aku harap yg die masih cintakn aku :(
aku harap yg die masih mahukn aku :(
sbb aku masih syg, cinta + mahukn die.
uhuk~

to dak kecik yg bongok,
ayg, org rindu ayg :(
ayg jahat :(
x pujuk ! [-(
hoohoo~
ayg jage diri leklok. solat jage. mkn jage. xmo stress2.
once in a while, msg la org ngok ! >:p
geram aku =.="
ishhhh~
luv u so much, b :*

last day. jengjeng~

2012-01-13T11:51:00.002+08:00

orait !
this is ma last day here at ma own home ;(
suddenly feel nostalgic.

hadoi~

nk ikutkn mmg xmo brganjak dr umah neh ;p
tp smpai bile la hoh?
so, i gotta go ^^
held up ma chin high, spirit's up then i'm good to go.

i'll b less online though :D
dunno also if i could update things here *thinking*
anyway, i'll update if i could. haha.

ok ah.
wish me luck eyy?

u guys take care then ;)

bye. ;p

girls that i call mine.

2012-01-09T13:30:00.003+08:00

...

saye sedih bile tgk wifeys saye sedih.
tp nk buat camne, dilema seorang wanita, isteri + ibu.
kdg², all i can do for these girls of mine is juz b quiet + listens wif my heart to those things that cant b expressed by words alone.

hw i wish i could b right next to them n give them a hearty hug.

to all those strong women that i admire, i salute you...i pray for you...i love you with all my heart ♥
whenever u feel exhausted with the world + everything doesn't go your way, makes u frustrated with everything...pls know that you have a friend here. ME.

i know you won't say much, i never expect to know anything frm u as well...
bt it hurts my heart to see ur fiery eyes teary due to stupid things that hurt u.
we dun have to b related by blood to b called 'sisters'...
to me, all of u are my sisters whom i love for always.
despite d differences, i will always stand by you :)
can say that we are soulmates? ;p
maybe. teehee~
watever it is we have between us, i am proud to say that you are my wifey ♥

b strong my wifeys ♥ b strong.

shoutbox brtukarrrr~ menjadi CBOX !! kekekeke~

2012-01-08T17:54:00.004+08:00

ergh =.="

shoutbox neh sgguh mnjengkelkn =.="
tetibe je maw brbayar plak =.="
haish~

jd, brtuko le kpd cbox. naseb gak mmg suda ade =D
xyah susah² maw reg bagai.
haish~

well, gonna b a long absence over here though ;)
why?
gonna b very bz this year ^^
so, in advance...gonna wish u all a good health, long lasting happiness + enjoy d moments wif ur loved ones eyy ?
huhu~

i'll update things if i can b free of it ;p
highly unlikely though coz i dunno if there will come a day i'll actually update ma blog =.="
ngee~

herm.
da xde bnde nk taip.
huhu.

so, wish me luck eyy? ;)
i may b very distant from blogging bt my heart is always here. chewah~!!

azam thn neh ?
jd budak yg baik, muslimah yg baik, manusia yg baik, anak yg baik, kakak yg baik...
senang citer, sumenye nk dibaikkn la ^-^
boipren?
i dun think i have tym to involve with love relationship.
i would like to discover the world on ma own wif ma loving family only.
i'm down wif that ;p teehee~
kalo ade yg brani, ade la. kalo stakat pndg dr jauh, syok dr jauh tp xde kudrat/keberanian maw tackle, membujang la wa smpai ke tua =.="
wahahaha~

ok ah.
da mepek.

bye.

assalamualaikum ^^

Happy 2012 :)

2012-01-05T13:52:00.003+08:00

ehem.

well, it has been a very long time :D isn't it ;p

anyway, have a happy new year guys ;)

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We'll miss u a lot Lola. may ur soul rest in peace ♥

2011-12-09T12:56:00.006+08:00

sigh~

it's a hard tym for me + ma family.
we had lost our only living, breathing grandma yesterday around 2pm.
all d Son, Ledesma + Carpio are still grieving.

my Lola ♥
ahh~ ma cute, beautiful Lola :)
remembering her brings smile to my face.
the 4months me + ma sisters spent with her were precious to me.
i saw her in every mood she can possibly be :)

my Lola, Purification Son Carpio.
leaving us at the age of 83.
as i remembered her, she's a strong fighter :)
a prominent figure in my mother side of the family.
she never backed down to whatever Life could throw at her.
sometimes, i imagined her to be a warrior woman back at the old days with rolling sticks and woks as her weapon defending the family.
hehe. funny eyy?
bt i admire her all the same.

at her last days on Earth, at least her descendants had made one of her wishes came true which is having all her sons + daughters at one place at one time without quarreling and actually enjoyed the company of each other at one festive moment.
she had that dream came true which was on her 82nd birthday, 1yr ago :)
it was a big one bt at least, all of us were happy to be together + celebrate ma Lola's birthday.

i pray that my Lola can rest in peace nw together with my Lolo, my 2 uncles, Abah, Amal + to those family members who had gone before her.

we'll miss u a lot Lola Puring ♥

Her last pics :) preparing for Xmas + celebrating my Mama's birthday.

taken 1yr ago.

*dis was on her birthday :) wif her apo, SwangYou ♥

*dis was on Fiffy's 18th birthday :) Lola with her apo, Shey ♥

little notes : i juz want to remember her smiling, tricky face ^^ she's quite a trickster my Lola is ;p huh~ i'm gonna miss her loads !

No Time To Love.

2011-12-08T13:18:00.003+08:00

ahah!
sgguh bz =.="
dun have tym to update things :D weehee~

tp er, ade la trselit tym neh nk mepek skjap :D teehee~

well, nk mepek pn kna ade something ah =.="
tp aku nk mepek tataw nk mepek ape =.=" sigh~~

well, aku nk cari idea ah nk mmbebel ape kang =.="
blablabla~

nk get ready nk kuar sbnrnye neh =.=" soooo bz~!
kehkehkehkeh~

k ah. babai! =D

little notes : skrng, hati aku da xde ruang tuk sesape pn. hati aku hny tuk Lee SungYeol sahaje ♥ jajang! sekian terima kasih. no time to love =.=" officially, ma heart dun hold anyone but my family + SungYeol.wassalam.haha!

news flash!
something wrong to lola back at Zambo :-s i'm worried. i pray that nothing's wrong.amin! Ya Allah! kuatkn smngt ibu ku tuk mnghadapi sume neh.

answering questions ^^

2011-12-05T14:33:00.006+08:00

hey!

got tagged ^^ bt since i've done it already, i'll juz answer the tagger's questions only ^^ hehe~

abt d 11things abt me, u can found out at AboutMe section ^^

orait!

Questions frm Miss Mira are :

1.Do you love travelling?where?
- yes, i do! anywhere possible ;p

2.What K-drama do you love?
- any Kdrama will do ^^ recently i watched [Wish Upon A Star].

3.Whats your favourite Kpop group/solo?
- i have lots. to name a few; d big titans for group[HOT, GOD, FTTS, DBSK, SuJu, BigBang, SS501 etc.], solo[GODmmbers(SonHoYoung, KimTaeWu & WheeSung), HOTmmbers (Moon HeeJun & Danny Ahn), FTTSmmbers (HwanHee & Brian), Baek JiYoung, JYP, Sung SiKyung etc.]

4.Do you love anime?
- i LOVEEEEE them!

5.If you had chance to go Korea,who you want to meet?
- i think i would like to meet someone friendly and could communicate well like Nickhun 2PM or GNa probably ;p haha!

6.What song(s) that reminds you to someone?
- lots actually bt there are particular songs [in korean] that really can make my heart cringe with pain whenever i hear them are from Traxx - Let You Go, FTTS - Goodbye, 8eight - Without A Heart, DBSK[JaeJoong] - Fly Away & Infinite - Amazing; to name a few.

7.Do you love cute stuffs?
- YES!!

8.Whats is your feeling when blogging?
- depends. sometimes happy, sometimes sad, sometimes angry, sometimes sympathetic. haha!

9.Love Mathematics?
- during younger days, i LOATHE maths =.=" bt i began to fall in love with it when i was in Form3 and still is actually ^^

10.Which one is more important,phone or laptop?
- phone! laptop cannot call ppl la =.=" haha!

11.Do you always play this game?
- not really. if coincidently somebody BW to ma blog + tag, i'll usually play along ^^ doesn't kill me to b nice ;p haha.

well, there you have it !
haha.

ok la =.=" i've got personal thing to do that needs my utmost attention ;p
kihkihkih~

bubye + have a nice day ppl ! ;)

beyond apprehension. heck, i'm pissed rite nw =.="

2011-12-05T01:54:00.006+08:00

710 posts. wow.
and i bet more than half of it was about a jerk that i so happens to b not so over with =.="
sigh~

da ah.
aku rase this is d last post aku nk buat si polan tuh jd bahan citer aku =.="

ma heart ached A LOT, ok =.="
wa da byk kasi pluang tp si mengom tuh dgn beshnye buat x nmpk je dgn sume tuh =.="
xkn ah wa nk letak signboard ke notis ke memo ke to announce that i AM giving out chances =.="
huh? =.=" x reti nk tgk ke?
da terang2 kot still x nmpk?

sigh~
xpe ah.
dis is d last tym aku nk sentuh hal brtajuk & brinspirasikn die =.="
aku da malas.
saket ati lg teruk frm before ade ah.
ishhhhhhhh~!!!!!

setiap manusia ade had.
aku x trkecuali. aku bknnye gile. robot pn tidak.
ade limit to what i am capable of doing, ok! =.="

memandangkn Ur Jerkness is too bz playing family man, aku nk resume to ma quest yg aku da tinggalkn smntare sbb Jerkness neh distracting me =.="
i AM bz too, u noe =.="
i AM doing ma part as a family woman too, u noe =.="

but i guess, he's not capable to juggle things than he thinks he could.
ur not ready.

ask me again if ur ready boy. =.="
rite nw, i dun think u can handle me =.="
i'm too much for u to handle rite nw, kn?
so, i'm doing u a favor by being away and unreacheable to u.
let u have a space to sort things through.
ouh dun worry. i'll always b around bt not available to u la ^^
i'll let u taste hw hurtful it is to me when ur doing d same thing to me nw :)

so, goodbye for nw ;)
hope ur doing well eyy? ;)
huhu.

*d problem is, i know he'll disappoint me over n over n over again bt still...huhh~

little notes: i AM disappointed, tired and pissed rite nw. so dun expect me to b kind to u =.=" huh!

bile hati ku menjadi agak tandus.

2011-12-03T13:33:00.005+08:00

hmph.

ma heart ache =.="
and i dunno wat to do wif it =.="
i need to breathe right. =.="
heck, even breathing is hurtful.
aiyaa~

am i wrong?
to voice out my rights to b happy with only a mere flower given to me?
to voice out my rights to b happy with only a saying that says - i'm urs?
to voice out my rights to b happy with only a ridiculously cute ecard saying that he misses me?
to voice out my rights to b happy with only a short call with him singing a verse to let me know hw he feels?
to voice out my rights to b happy with only a short call with him saying all the things he needs to say to me juz bcoz he misses me and doesn't matter if he only has 20cents left?

i dun need to b courted all the time bt enough to make my heart swell with pride, love + miss for that certain somebody.
am i wrong for demanding that attention which clearly i am deserving to have?
once in a while, fire up my heart to have a long lasting passion + love for that certain somebody for a very long time.
even my heart needs to renew its feelings towards something.
huhu ;p

i'm craving for those attentions that sometimes i felt jealous with others who can spend time with their loved ones whenever + wherever :)
i dun want that certain someone to 24/7 being attentive to me, bt once in a while it is nice to have those little romantic gestures to skip my heart a beat + let my cheeks blush like an innocent little girl.
hehe.
too much?

i dun think so.
it's normal for asking those things from somebody that u want, right?
and i think, it is very rare for me to ask for those things.
i dun want to demand but i want him to do those little things, those little details that i care so much just to fire up my feelings or in other words, renew my almost diminishing passion for him.
huhuhuhu.

huhh~ =.="
i'm thinning here =.="
so, plump me up!
lalalala~
my soul that is ;p
hehehe~
keperluan batin spt itu adalah wajib taw!
leh kurus jiwa aku camni =.="
huhhhh~
camne aku nk gemokkn jiwa aku dr bab jiwang² neh?
hishhh.

oke ah =.="

later.

ujian.

2011-12-02T14:01:00.002+08:00

Ya Allah. nasib aku jmpe ayat² yg menenangkn hati aku yg tgh kepanasan neh :)

Source

so, sabarlah sebanyak² nye.
astaghfirullahal'azim.

fine.

2011-12-02T13:16:00.004+08:00

herm.
da masok disember.
alhamdulillah.
da masok thn bru gak utk org² muslim :)
Salam Maal Hijrah [i noe, a bit late bt better late than never kn ? ;p]

okeh.
aku tgh mnjage api kemarahan yg tgh mmbuak ddlm dada aku neh =.="
tetibe jek trbuke hati aku nk tgk something, find out abt something.
and yeah, i did. =.="

pergh!
terbako nye hati.
astaghfirullahal'azim. a'uzubillahiminashaitonnirajim~
sabo weh sabo.

dalam hutak aku, aku da amek machinegun tembak sepuas² nye =.="
bengang. geram. sakit hati.
sume ah =.="

didn't we say it clearly enough ?
betapa hancurnye hati aku bile mngetahui something that i really dun wanna know.
*hembus nafas, amek nafas sedalam² nye. . .hembusssss*
die x taw ke betape Mdm aku teringin melihat die?
die x taw ke betape tingginye harapan Mdm aku trhadap die?
die x taw ke betape Mdm aku rindukn die?
and itu baru Mdm aku.
aku da bgtau sedaya upaya aku jgn meletakkn apa² harapan kat die.
sbb aku taw how it feels to b disappointed by that person.

i am frustrated.
i am sad.
i am heartbroken.

sigh~

Mdm kate, if d 3rd time die x dpt brjmpe juge dgn die...
she didn't say anything after that.
tp aku cube menenangkn hati mama aku tuh dgn mmberitahunya yg mngkin antara mama dgn die blom brjodoh lagi tuk brjmpe.
she seemed to calm down with what i said and smiled.

aduhhhh!
benci ah bile this things happen.
hati aku neh cam dicucuk², disiat²...
Ya Allah, tenangknlah hati aku neh.

hmph.
xpe.
aku tgkkn saje.
i've done things that i could.
it seems to me that i just have to let it go.
bersabar lagilah yg perlu aku lakukn.
hadoih~

xpe.
i dun wanna say anything anymore or do anything anymore.
aku buat xtaw je ah =.="
sbb aku da malas.
hati aku da sakit gile da neh.
Mdm maybe bleh overlooked abt this bt to me, it hurts a lot.

aku nk merajok =.="
lalalala~
bwk hati ku yg lara sejauhnye dr manusia yg telah mnyakiti hati ku ini :-<
ouh sedihnya.
memujuk hati ku yg sedih ini.
menyejukkn hati ku yg kepanasan ini.

ouh bengangnye =.="

fine.
if that is all he can do. then i won't do anything to give him headaches.
i'll juz disappear =.="
that's d best thing.
malas.

humph.
aman hidup aku =.="

ish geram gerammmm!

fine!
if that's hw u want to play, i'll play along as well =.="
huhu.
i'll make u hurt + damn unhappy as well as i am hurt right nw =.="
so, let's start.

masha'allah

2011-12-02T13:15:00.000+08:00

You can kill a Muslim,
But u can't kill Islam.
Can anyone tell me why it is so
hard to pray, but easy to
swear?
Why clubs are growing and
mosque's are shrinking?
Why is it so hard to re-post a
Muslim status, but easy to post
gossip?
Why we can
worship a celebrity, but not
Allah?
Gonna ignore this?
Allah said, if you deny me in
front of your friends, I will
deny you in front of me.
Re-post this if you're not afraid
of what your friends
will think
♥I am a Muslim AND PROUD ♥

oi. where are you?

2011-11-30T02:37:00.003+08:00

huh~
everybody is asleep already.
me ?
still waiting for a certain someone to miraculously appear =.="

ma eyes are heavy already bt i'm still hoping that i'll get a chance to say things to that certain somebody.

sigh~

i know what i'm getting myself into anyway.
bt sometimes, it's too much for me to bear.
i need to be extra patient, extra tolerant and extra forgiving.
waiting someone sucks, u know =.="
i hate waiting bt hey! i've been waiting for this single human being for many years already.
i dunno when i've started waiting for that person anyway. =.="
i wasnt aware of me doing it.
it came natural to me to be waiting for this person eventhough i noe that person won't come anyway.
yeah, it'll break ma heart into pieces bt i am willing to wait for this stupid person =.="

i guess, it's harmless to say that this act is an act of love + compassion towards that person.

i realised i have to be very patient with this person far more than it requires me to do so in the past.
i realised i have to be very tolerant with this person far more than i had to before.
eventhough i dun like to admit it bt things have changed since that day.
drastically even.
towards a future that i can never could picture it in ma head.

ma feelings for this certain person is absolute bt i have my limits.
dun test me.
as easily as i can love someone sincerely, d same applies when i need to be cruel to someone too.
though not so much, bt my actions sometyms hurt more inside than the outside.
huhu.

zalim er?

so pls sayang, dun test me so much.
ma patience can go so high bt it can come down as easily as well.
u noe i tend to destroy myself a lot with lots of IFs in ma head alone =.="
so, dun make me do something that'll make me be a bit cruel to u.

hurry back.

little notes : in Johor rite nw. saw too many yellow cars today =.=" gave me a lot of heartaches + cursing to a certain somebody =.=" hadoiiii la~

tak boleh lah ! grr~

2011-11-26T10:45:00.002+08:00

wuh~

ade byk nk citer tp xleh =.="

well, i've got to go down to N9 for ma friend's sister's wedding :D
wehehehe~

so, xleh nk update sgt la yek ! :D

ok ah =.="

when i'm back, i'll spill everything kay ? ;) *almost everything.heee~

reformat ma heart.

2011-11-23T18:12:00.002+08:00

kan best kalo aku bleh reformat balik memori palahutak + hati aku ? *sigh*

i dun understand hw can i have dis one feeling for one stupid person =.="

belambak lelaki kt luar sane tp die yg grab hold on ma heartstrings.

sucks!

xbleh ke aku ske org len plak?

hadoi~ =.="

xleh ke pakwe aku cam Logan Lerman ke ♥ wahahaha!
Alan Luo ke ♥
Nic Tse ke ♥
Stephen Fung ke ♥
Vic Zhou ke ♥
Nakayama Yuma ke ♥
Kanata Hongo ke ♥
Yamashita Tomohisa ke ♥
Kamenashi Kazuya ke ♥
Mizushima Hiro ke ♥

ok =.=" d list juz go on n on n on~
bt i'm stuck wif dis jerk =.="
hadoi~

xde ke ubat hilangkn perasaan kasih + sayang ke atas sesuatu manusia/brg/binatang ?
kalo ade, nk beli ah =.="
nk buang so that aku bleh brasmaradana dgn manusia lain.
mwahahahaha~ >:)

k ah.

bye.

Selamat Diijabkabulkn. Alhamdulillah.

2011-11-21T01:13:00.005+08:00

sweet kn ?
aku ske ^^
nnti bile wa plak maw nikah, wa maw Cik Abg wa buat vid camneh *berangan skjap*
wah~ bleh simpan ke anak cucu w0oooo~ hahahaha~
papehal, didoakn penyatuan Deqwan + Dalili Michelle Abdullah dirahmati Allah swt. amin !

Source

aiyaaa~ TT_____TT

2011-11-19T15:47:00.003+08:00

missing someone sucks =.=" sigh~

together forever in Jannah ?

2011-11-17T15:18:00.002+08:00

huhu.

it is sad to be not with ur husband when everything's over.

i pray that my future husband + me will be together not only on Earth bt also together in heaven.
maybe it is tempting to be married with a different man in heaven bt can we even wait for our husband if we're thousand years early ?
sigh~

things i dunno. . .

2011-11-16T04:01:00.006+08:00

huhhh~
i hate this.when i want to stop, u'll always come and make me change my mind.
i hate this.when i want to give up, u'll always show up somewhere and stopped me from giving up.
i hate this.when i want to throw everything away, u'll always hold my hand and put things back to where they were.
i hate this.ur a jerk for making me even have those intentions to give up =.="
bt ur also the one who stopped me from doing so.

so what are u ?
jerk + prince charming = ???

aiyaaa =.="

but,

so eventually,

which is making me crazy. huh~ this sucks.
so no matter hw my brain tries to think of a way to stop my heart from liking u a lot, no matter hw logic my brain thinks abt the decision i tried to make. . .
my heart juz couldn't help it =.=" *sigh*

ouhhhhhhhhhh~
i hate this so much.
bt why am i smiling anyway ? huh~!

little notes : Happy Birthday Ma ! da 48 ;p wahaha~! tp ur nt here ;( well, dun mind. let's juz celebrate when ur back home ;) huhu~! da ! tdo !

new resolution.

2011-11-15T03:23:00.004+08:00

sigh~

before,

nw,

coz i have realised from the minute i laid eyes on u that;

but,

i dun think i can have the luxury to love someone right nw since i have ma hands full.
that is why i reject the man i ever love.
i couldn't have the luxury to live a life as a woman and compete with billions of women on earth =.="
it's tiring sometimes. bt i'm doing myself a favor for avoiding BIG trouble that i dun even want to get caught to.
so, that's my reason.
the only solid reason why i couldn't think of any man right nw =.="
build back my life + ma family so we can be normal again.
huhu.

therefore i conclude that i am no longer putting myself in the market to find myself a man whom i can love wholeheartedly + give my life to.
for me, right nw, men are worthless.
they are nothing bt trouble.
period. fullstop.
even hw much i care, even hw much i love, even hw much i miss. . .
i'll juz bury all those emotions til i am ready to open up again to someone at the right tym.

good plan eyy ?
i hope so.
amin !

still waiting.

2011-11-14T02:05:00.002+08:00

but what's more important is;

sucks ey ? *sigh*

bila rindu bertandang. . .aiyoyoyoyo~

2011-11-13T01:41:00.004+08:00

huhu~

nothing to write =.="

well, tomorrow gonna send Mdm to d airport.

sigh~

feelin' a bit downhearted.
x ckp mkn ?
nahhh~
i guess i'm feeling this way can blame one person only.
hadoi la Mohamad Najib, Mohamad Najib =.="
why do i miss u so much ?
eventhough i dun want to. . .bt i miss u too damn much =.="
darn !

ja ! matta ashita ne ! huhu~
annyeong ! =D

little notes : i dunno wat d heck is ma heart trying to play anyway =.=" listens to love songs make ma heart ache =.=" darn !

Bcoz I'm Crazy =.="

2011-11-11T16:15:00.003+08:00

Tik Tik Tock Tock

Tik Tik Tock
Tik Tik Tock Tock
Tik Tik Tock
Even if time passes, I only think about you everyday
What I told you cause I was drunk
The lie, “Let’s break up”
Now you’re in someone else’s arms
I need you, I love you
“Go away”, those words drive me crazy
I wanted to seem tough so I said the same too but
Even if said, “Fine, let’s never see each other again”
I turned around but I keep regretting

*Days without you, it’s meaningless
Days without you, I can’t live
No one can comfort me
Oh my love, to me again
I don’t wanna be without you

**Even if I get drunk for you to see
Even if I break down for you to see
Even if I’m next to another person
It’s painful, I’m lonely, I keep thinking about you
It’s because I’m crazy crazy
Because I’m crazy crazy about you
Because I hate hate you
Because I hate hate you
Don’t leave my love
My love, my love
I don't wanna let you go

I think I'm so mad about you, crazy about you
I did’t know you’d leave me like this
Can't stop thinking about you
And I can’t live without you
No, Everyday Every single day
I’m sick of it too
Baby, Let me love you down
Break ma heart, Break your heart
Let's come back back back back, back to the start

*Repeat

**Repeat

No, even if I scream to forget about you
Even if my heart stops me to
Just call me Crazy, Crazy
I can’t let you go
Back to you

**Repeat

It’s because I’m crazy crazy
Because I’m crazy crazy about you
Because I hate hate you
Because I hate hate you
Don’t leave my love
My love, my love
I don't wanna let you go

by, Double A - Because I'm Crazy (미쳐서 그래)

huh~
i'm feeling exactly like that. whyyyy ? TT_________TT

If.

2011-11-11T15:03:00.003+08:00

if one day, ma prince charming is supposed to be YOU. . .
i'll accept it with an open heart + open arms :)

if one day, ma partner in crime is supposed to be YOU. . .
i'll happily live in ur prison for as long as i breathe :)

if one day, ma enemy in debate is supposed to be YOU. . .
i'll b willing to forfeit in total happiness :)

IF one day, YOU are supposedly to be my whole life partner. . .
i will cherish you, love you, miss you, protect you, adore you, fight with you, creating memories with you etc. . .
i will have no regrets nor objection for you in becoming ma sole protector, teacher, bestfriend, partner, father of ma children + lover for the rest of my life :)

bt for nw, i will sit down quietly + let our fate walk its way to cross each other's paths and maybe finally decide whether WE are supposed to be together like FATE had planned for us :)
the FATE that Allah has written for us b4 all this happened. ;)
til that day, i'll stay still and pray for all that is good in our own separate lives.
amin.

Perfect Recipe to Beauty

2011-11-11T14:49:00.001+08:00

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I don’t have the most perfect skin.
I’m sorry I don’t look like a Victoria Secrets model
I’m sorry I don’t have the best style.
I’m sorry I’m not tall.
I’m sorry I’m not perfectly skinny- 5’7 nor 100 pounds.
I’m sorry I have stretch marks here and there.
I’m sorry I have bad hijab days.
I’m sorry that I’m plain.
I’m sorry my eyebrows aren’t thin and perfectly trimmed.
I’m sorry my face isn’t caked in make-up.
I’m sorry that I can never meet society’s standards.

But you know what?

I don’t need to care about society’s criteria.
I don’t need people to tell me I’m beautiful.
I don’t need compliments to make me feel better.
I don’t need a superficial love that can’t withstand a stretch mark here or chub there.
I don’t need to keep sinking into a never ending pit of low self-esteem.

Because I looked to Allah, and He told me the perfect recipe to be Beautiful.
Not just temporarily, but forever.

“And the servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk upon the earth easily, and when the ignorant address them [harshly], they say [words of] peace,…” [25:63]

“And [they are] those who, when they spend, do so not excessively or sparingly but are ever, between that, [justly] moderate.” [25:67]

“And he who repents and does righteousness does indeed turn to Allah with [accepted] repentance. And [they are] those who do not testify to falsehood, and when they pass near ill speech, they pass by with dignity. And those who, when reminded of the verses of their Lord, do not fall upon them deaf and blind. And those who say, “Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.” Those will be awarded the Chamber for what they patiently endured, and they will be received therein with greetings and [words of] peace.” [25:71-75]

Ya Allah, when the world criticizes me a million times over
Ya Allah, when the world keeps telling me hurtful things
Ya Allah, when the world keeps pushing “ugly” at me.
Give me the courage to hold firm to your Deen.
Ya Allah, as long as I am beautiful to you, nothing else matters.

Ya Allah, even when everyone leaves my side, let me take comfort in the fact that
You are closer to me than my jugular vein [50:16]

||thnx.to.MrsAdriani||

nobody really understands anybody. dun say that u understand somebody when u actually dun =.="

2011-11-11T12:48:00.006+08:00

no 2 person could understand the same thing.

example :
A loves B.but B goes off and marry C leaving A all alone.bt A still loves B anyway. B still loves A and wants A in B's life. A thinks it was great to b in B's life again bt stopped cause thinking abt C; What abt C ? I'll break C's heart + trust to B. I'll make their lives bad :( bt i love B so much. What to do ? TT______TT A thought long + hard abt this for years. eventhough B loves A so much, A knows it is wrong. so A quietly take her own way and lives her life out of B's radar.

1st person will understand this :
how loyal is A *awwwww* i wish they could b together. bt stupid B *grrrrrrr*

2nd person will understand this :
A is so stupid. why is she still lingering on with B anyway ? He's married =.=" so buzz off + go find a life la ! >.<"

so, nobody really knows the true story of A, B + C.
eventhough ppl are judgemental towards everything they lay eyes on =.="

moral of d story : dun judge somebody's action or life juz bcause it never happens in urs. u dunno what REALLY happened. juz a bit of this + that to know ur way of knowing the story. dun expect that somebody in ur life is thinking the same thing as u are. they have their own reasons. they have their own thoughts on things they are facing in their lives. so u, as the spectator. . .juz shut up + enjoy the show =.="

little notes : only 1 person who knows me truly without even have to explain thoroughly. selain drpd Allah swt, ade sorg je yg betul² phm walopon aku kedekut nk bgtau sesuatu :D yup, it's you Lil Devil ♥

Happy Bfday Novemberians ♥

2011-11-11T12:06:00.003+08:00

well, been very bz these past few days =.="

herm. post pic je ah er.
hahaha~! ;p

snap :

Mdm's advance birthday present ;p wahahaha.Mdm aku syok gile ^^

fuhh~
Mdm da 46yrs old.
da tua da Mdm kesayangan aku neh.
huhu.

Ma, love u so much ! :*
eventhough i may not be the greatest daughter bt i'm trying ma best to b one ;p
i may not be the most obedient among all ur children bt i'll fight for u anytym.
i may not be the most lenient among all bt i'll come for u whenever u call.
we may have our differences bt pls know that i hold u at best in my heart + in my life ♥

May Allah bless ur life here on earth til Akhirat. amin.

budak november satu lagi, ma dearest sister Cik Aishah :)
she wanted an Ip =.=" hadoiii~
tp, i'll let her have it for next year. hahahaha~ ;p

Angah, love u a trillion ! :*
i may not be the best sister bt i'm trying ma best to b ur friend ^^
we may have our fights + differences bt pls know that u + d others are always ma top priorities in ma life.

May Allah bestow upon you a wondrous life, happiness + love :)
sm0ga dpt jodoh cepat ! ;p
Along nk bby ! hahahaha~

mwahx !

family always at the top of ma list. i hope u guys are too ^^

CONTEST 3 in 1 BERSAMA Aini

2011-11-11T11:33:00.004+08:00

ngaa ! wokeh ! reply tag ! ;p

i've been tagged by si gorgeous Fey ^^

join contest neh tuk dpt coklat *melelehairluirku* besh besh ♥
mane ah taw menang ke ;p
dpt coklat sejibik. kehkehkeh~

so, sesape yg maw join contest neh please visit Cik Aini ;)

so, pic :D ehee~ den pnyogan sbona eh :"> so amek gambo tuh mmg slalu brduo kow brtigo kow ;p wahaha !
pmbuat contest x marah kn *kelip² mate* hahaha~

pic :

style : funny kut ^-^ heeeee~

tag 3 : tyra|fiezah91|biskut chipsmore

those who have been tagged by me or somebody else regarding this contest, it's entirely up to u to join or not. no force ^^
i tagged to abide the rules =D wehehee~ mianhe ;p

so, gud luck to us all eyy ? ;)

ripples of reminiscence.

2011-11-10T15:03:00.005+08:00

ngaa~

mmpi Infinite ♥

lawak bt happy ;p haha!

love ma boys ♥

k ah =.="

later² post up things regarding previous tag TT______TT
xde idea nk buat ape dgn tag tuh.
jd, jnjln cari ilham.
haha~!

love seeing couples kiss + make up ^^
they made me feel like being in love is not a bad thing ;p
and together, they're unbeatable.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

sadly to say, that period is long gone for me :)
it's nt that i missed it or anything.
these young couples made me feel nostalgic. that's all :)
i pray for these young couples happiness :)

ahhh~
it's nice being young *reminiscing* hahaha~!
cam aku neh tua sangat =.=" cett!
well, have a good day today everyone ^^

huhu.

ja ne ;p

salam.

Infinite - Amazing

2011-11-10T03:15:00.005+08:00

some of d lyrics yg mngena to me =.="
it ended already.
nothing will avoid me from getting hurt anyway.
i know already.

especially yg ini -

"You’re walking down it with some other man
and holding hands
We’re strangers anyways."

ouh darn. =.="
i get it.
that is why eventhough i felt empty, eventhough i felt awkward. . .and being CALM abt it. . .i know what i have lost and i know i can never get it as the same as it was before :)

well =.="
that is life anyway.
i'll get over it. someday.
huhu.

for d tym being, enjoying my adventure alone trying to get over it + smile.
i know, one day the chosen one will come for me.
insyaAllah.

TAG ! oh no !

2011-11-09T11:04:00.003+08:00

huhu.
got tagged. yesterday kot.
can't do it rite nw :D
still bz. hehe~
so ?
i'll b doing d tags yg u guys made at a later tym ;p
kihkihkihkih~

ja ne !

gotta get ready.
lalalala~

annyeong & have a wonderful day today ;)

bogoshipda, my girlfriends ;(

2011-11-08T11:54:00.006+08:00

i miss ma girls ;(

tp, dsbbkn wa punye kepentingan diri sndiri. . .
wa telah buat keputusan tuk putuskn segala connection yg ade dgn social webs =.="
malas ah.
dr memeningkn diri sndiri, bek wa lesap dr dunia tuh.
dunia yg wa sndiri malas nk amek taw.
being updated when i dun want to even know =.="
reading things that i shouldn't.
seeing things that i shouldn't.
ouh saket mata, saket pala, saket jiwa.
huhu~

jd bek wa delete segala macam laman sosial neh =.="
d only thing that i left are this blog + twitter.
since i dun tweet much, i juz left it be :)
blog ?
woh~! sayang wohhhhhh~
ehehhh~ ;p

mianhe yoja chinggu-deul ;(
i pray that everything will b well + happy for every single one of you :)
i dun mean to cut all ties wif u over d net ;(
bt pls noe that i'm thinking of u, occasionally ;p
all d tyms we played around. . .joked + teased. . .laughed + cried. . .

i'll cherish all those memories that we create together til d end of ma life ^^
i love u.
pls noe that :)

ouh! sadis la plak TT_____TT

bw laie skali =.="

the reason.

2011-11-07T14:11:00.004+08:00

i dun think i could hold anymore :)
friends ? i dun think so. it'll b years b4 that going to happen.

between u and me, it's quite difficult.
we can't be friends, we can't be more than friends.
perfect strangers that knows each other too well :)

if ur asking me abt ma feelings over you, i would say that i do love you.
more than enough, i guess.
i'm tired.

been waiting & waiting like there's hope for tomorrow.
maybe if ur not so strangled up by somebody's rope, maybe i'll continue on holding u til whenever. infinity maybe ^^
bt u are :)
sad truth eyy ?

i guess this is the end of our chapter my dear lil boy :)
i understand hw hard it must have been for u + hw ur dealing wif ur life right nw.
i dun want to make it any harder by pressuring u with having me around asking attention like we used to back in d old days ;p

that is why i'm setting u free. like i should have done years ago.
i dunno if ur greedy or what coz that is ur decision :)
bt mine, i let u go.

i understand.
that is why i'm letting u go.
if u wanna b friends wif ma family, i dun mind.
after all, my mother is still having hopes for u.
bt for us being like we used to be, it's impossible for me to do it nw.
if u want us to be friends with no feelings for each other, u'll have to wait for me to b neutral.
which could take years ;p

huhuhu.
u want to hold on ?
it's up to u. ur decision.
i never want to influence u in any way with what ur gonna do with ur future undertakings :)

bt for me, enough already.
i never want to hold on to u anymore.
i never want to break somebody's heart.
i never want to destroy somebody's dream.
i dun want to destroy somebody's home :)

it's impossible for u to juggle everything between work, family + me :)
coz it is never easy nw.
i understand that clearly.
that is my reason for letting u go.

it's impossible for u to do everything + to have everything in ur life.
mesti ada salah satu bnde yg awk nak, x trcapai.
in dis matter, bnde yg awk xleh nk capai is maybe having me for d rest of ur life :)

so, forget abt what had been said between us.
between me + u, u noe it's impossible :)
so live ur life as u see fit.
i will never interfere like i have always done in the past years.
i will never even appear in ur life like i have always done.
coz that is the only way for me not destroying something and make it worse for u, ma lil boy.

take care always.
may Allah bless ur life with everything that u hoped for.
i forgave u. dun worry, i won't forget ;p
bt wishing for ur happiness, i couldn't.
if one day, i can be happy again. on that day, i'll wish for ur happiness.
eheh~ fair ? kn ?
kekekekeke~

so, b gud to ur family.
love them, cherish them.
for they will always be with you.
marah camne pn, sabar. ingt Allah.
nk campak sume kt lam longkang pn, sabar. ingt Allah.
if by remembering me could ease ur anger + pain in ur life, ingtlah org :)
live ur life + dun have regrets, boy.

:)

Contest Cute Blog Design by Sofya

2011-11-04T07:09:00.007+08:00

mwahahaha~!

salam + morning gorgeous boys + handsome girls ^-^

well, better do this b4 i forgot ;p weheheh~
lgpn, nk raye. takut x sempat plak =D heee~

ok ! here goes. . .

thnx tagger, Ms. Sofya :)

done ! :D

heart die punye blog ;p so cute ^^
wish i could b more patient =.="
tp, wa da buat byk sgt layout wa da x hengat suda =.="
bile tym malas melanda, dok dpn pc pn x hengen =.=" lalalalala~

abt mine eyy ?
i guess mine's alright *big grin*
agak puas hati sbb loading pn x lambat, bersih + agak kemas [for me la ;p]
i'm nt ready yet to delete all d nuffies *big grin* tp insyaAllah, one day.
it's amazing hw i can b loyal wif one thing + bored with it ryt at d next second =.=" huhh~
weheheh~!
cute ke blog ? maybe la *senyum sipu²*
i juz wanna make ma blog comfortable to ma eyes ^-^
bt if it made other ppls' eyes comfortable as well, it'll b super ! *big grin again*
kehkehkeh~

k ah. nk smbung tdo =.="
ngntok laie neh.
kang nk poie amek Mdm kek airport Ktn. huhuhuhu~

matta ne ;p

annyeong !

tagged !

2011-11-03T13:18:00.007+08:00

ehek~
aku ingt aku xkn di-tag oleh sesape. sekali kna tag da TT____TT
ngaaa~
xpo. wa ske ;p

ehem~
whoever will b tagged by me, i dun force u to post it up or anything.
juz wanna follow d rules ^-^ kehkehkeh~

here it goes !

I have been tagged by Ms. Biskut Chipsmore :) check her out ! ^-^

Rules :

Sect A :

1.You must post this rule

2.Each person must post 11 themselves in their journal

3.Answer the question the tagger set for you in their post and create eleven new questions for the people you tagged to answer

4.You have to choose eleven people to tagged and link them to the post

5.Go to their page and tell them you have tagged HIM/HER

6.No tag Back !

7.No stuff in the tagging section about "YOU ARE TAG IF YOU READING THIS" YOU LEGIMATELLY (a.k.a REALLY,TRUST,WITH ALL HONEST)have tagged 11 people.

uhuk~! quite a lot =^-^=
ngaa~

Q. Each person must post 11 themselves in their journal.

11 things abt me eyy ? let's see :

• i'm not a talker bt if i do talk, it means i'm comfortable ^^
• d day i was born, d day was scorching hot then rained heavily at d tym of ma arrival ;p cool huh ? ;p
• when i'm determined in doing something and i did do it, usually i'll regret it after few minutes bt stay strong wif ma decision anyway.
• i love rain bt i dun like getting myself wet especially if i finally took d tym to dress up nicely =.="
• i love music && singing in d toilet is alien to me ;p i nvr really sang in d toilet bt rather sang a song when i'm on ma guitar ^-^
• i LOVE cartoons ! be it anime, disney or watever ;p hahaha~
• i like to see ppl doing exercises + stuffs bt HATE to do it =.="
• i LOVE library. the smell of the books, the way they were categorized by their types + names are cool to me. haha~
• when ppl 1st tym seeing me, ppl always say that my personality + my looks making me look like the youngest in the family =.=" haishhh~
• i'm nt good in expressing fondness to other ppl. be it ma own mother =.=" haihhh~
• love THEMEPARKS !! haha~

next, questions frm the tagger, Ms. Biskut Chipsmore

Q. Apa url blog korang.. ?? meh kongsi sikit sejarahnya
A. sn0w-bear.blogspot.com, why ? i love snow, i love bear. and most importantly, somebody says i'm like a polarbear =.=" darn! eventhough d reason behind it was quite sweet ^-^

Q. blog korang lebih kepada apa??
A. my opinions in life + personal stuffs ^-^

Q. blog yang korang selalu bukak / wajib bukak =,=
A. mine la ! ^-^ hahahaha~

Q. korang blogger dari negeri mana?
A. ambo dr Terengganu ^-^ bt i suck trg dialect =.=" *sigh* [bermastautin shj ^-^]

Q. keje ke study lagi??
A. both. tp bkn smpai thp diploma ke ape. everyday i'm learning, everyday i'm working ^-^

Q. facebook korang apa ek??
A. i dun fb anymore ^-^ hehe~

Q. berapa kali jer entry korang keluar dalam seminggu?
A. sometyms more than 5, sometyms less than none =.="

Q. Gajet apa korang ada??
A. Canon Powershot S95, Sony DigiCam, LG Lollipop, Iphone4, Sony Ericsson [jenis flipflop lupe da namo eh =.="]

Q. Pakai duit sapa beli gajet gajet tu?
A. parents + mine ^-^

Q. pergh!! apa lagi aku nak tanya ni?? tolong bagi jawapan untuk ni..
A. da mandi ke blom ? hahahahaha !

Q. Last sekali... da ada pasangan ke belum??
A. nope ! still single + ready to mingle ;p

next, new set of questions from Me :)

1. da mkn ?
2. what do you think about fashion wanita muslimah brhijab nowadays ?
3. who's ur favourite man in your life ?
4. who's ur confidante when ur feeling down + need a boost up ?
5. what do u mostly do when ur down ?
6. what is ur opinion on d new generation men these days ?
7. ur favourite cartoon when ur a child.
8. books / magazines or newspaper ?
9. BigMac, garden salad or tuna sandwich ?
10. what's d 1st thing u do when u wake up ?
11. what's d last thing u do when ur ready for bed ?

haha~! i noe some of the questions agak merepek =.=" bt hey, humor me ;p lalala~

ok ! the honoured ones that i've tagged :

http://www.awesomestoryofus.blogspot.com/
http://cikqilablog.blogspot.com/
http://whoseqasehhazrie.blogspot.com/
http://cherry-zeyra.blogspot.com/
http://ninigahol.blogspot.com/
http://of-a-woman.blogspot.com/
http://eqalovelensa.blogspot.com/
http://amieylicious.blogspot.com/
http://teardropsonhisguitar.blogspot.com/
http://kamaryeahtajuddin.blogspot.com/
http://theonlyza.blogspot.com/

pergh !

my part's done ^-^

let's see if ur brave enough boy.

2011-11-02T09:33:00.007+08:00

sigh~
i woke up to a dream of him. again~ =.="
i guess, i'm too worked out abt him.
huhhh~

i dunno =.="
i dunno what i'm doing is wrong or right anymore.
i thought i will nvr have ma chest to thump hard enough to make me hard to breathe before shutting ma eyes to sleep.
it's painful.
i tried easing d pain with massaging it slowly, to make me breathe normal.
still, breathing is causing me too much pain too.

why ?
why do i have this kind of pain again ?
i thought it's over when i decide it's done.
i thought that i will never again feel like this after what i've done.
tp suddenly, the pain came back.
the pain of missing him too much, wanting him too much, needing him too much. . .loving him too much.
bt i know that i can't. *sigh*

do i still love him ?
i thought deep about this.
for days, i've been torturing myself with split identities to have ma own question, answered.

and d answer is ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ya Allah, YES !
i'm still madly in love with this jerk =.="
eventhough my dream was a bit faint + hazy bt i could make out his voice.
that voice which i missed so much to hear.
him cracking stupid jokes to make me laugh.
him soothing me to make it all better.
him hitting on me when i needed a bit of romantic feelings ;p
wehehe~

huh~
i looked deep within myself and i finally found ma answer.
i can't stop loving him. *sigh*
i can't stop wanting him.
i can't stop needing him.
i can't stop missing him too much.

huhhhhhhhhhhh~
why ?
why can't i juz be mean and selfish ? =.="
i'm torturing myself with being noble and all =.="
bt i'm clear to all that might possibly happen if i'm pushing it through.
i WILL make somebody's heart break into millions of pieces, d same way mine had broke years ago.
i WILL make somebody's life miserable, d same way mine was and still is miserable.
i WILL make somebody hating me eventhough i never hate anyone for making me through all those crap for years.
nak dijadikan citer, i dun want to destroy someone juz like the way i was destroyed by a certain person years ago.

no.
aku xmo hancurkn hidup seseorg walopn org tuh brdosa kt aku sekalipn.
aku x dbesarkn camtu.

yes, tipu ah kalo kate aku xmo lelaki itu dalam hidup aku.
tapi aku xbleh tutup mate to everything else.
aku x ckup kuat tuk mngharungi sume keje gile tuh.
unless if he showed me something to make me believe that i'm doing d right thing to fight on hard.

tp he didn't.
die x tunjukkn pape to me to make me believe that he wants a future where i am in it.
die x tunjukkn pape malah x buat pape effort pn tuk dptkn aku balik for sure.

well, hellooooo~
it's been years already since that day.
i want to believe that u want me, need me, love me + miss me =.="
i want u to show me.
kan org da kate, do not stop mengurat me.
where's d effort ?
i dun see anything coming frm u =.="
cam aku lak yg trhegeh² nk fight for us tp ur not.
it hurts u know =.="

kalo ko nk aku, prove it.
kalo ko xmo lepaskn aku, prove it.
so that i can sort out ma head n clear all the unnecessary things to focus a life with you in my future.

u know why i did that ?
it's because i dun feel. . . i dun see any effort from you wanting me by ur side.
u dun like me being idle and mcm x peduli, me either.
i dun like u being idle and buat xtaw cam u dun bother with what might happen to me.
juz because ma guardian had approved of us doesn't mean u won everything =.="
YOU still have unfinished business with me, dude =.="

YOU still have to apologize with what u put me through all these years.
YOU still have to work hard to have me confident in you again.
YOU still have to mend all those pain u caused me through all these years.
senang citer, YOU have to ngorat me again =.="

a few times on ym doesn't mean u got me already ok =.="
3yrs dbandingkn a few times on ym tuh x memadai ok =.="
lgpn, ur not really courting me anyway.
u didn't make a move on me pun. it's like ur confident that u had me already.

well, sorry bro =.="
u didn't have me yet.
u think i forget all those hurt + pain u've caused me ?
u think juz a simple helo will make me melt under ur feet ?
ouh tidakkkk~ [-x
u have to try harder than that la bro =.="

so, moral of d story : come and ngorat me if u dare >:/
i wanna see hw ready are you to make me urs again.
i wanna see hw ready are you to face all possible situations we'll b having if u chose to have me back.
i wanna see hw strong + brave u are.
i wanna see if ur not afraid to hold on to ma hand til our time's up while facing all the consequences with me.
so, game enough to take that challenge boy ?

yeah, u can have me bt i didn't say i'll make it any easier for u =.="
u passed one obstacle which was facing ma guardian.
hw abt passing me ?

huhuhu~

u think i'll juz give in to u ?
salah tuh.
i will never give in to u that easy dude *smug*
nope.
u have to earn my trust.
u have to earn my heart again.
and this time, i won't make it easy for u to have my heart back.

no, it wouldn't be easy.

hmph !

buntu.

2011-11-02T01:23:00.003+08:00

huh~

ma eyes are heavy.bt for days already i've been haunted by certain words.

.
.
.

damn.
aku trperangkap lagi skali.
ape aku nk buat neh ? =.="
aku tataw tuh statement ke satu soalan =.="
aku tataw nk balas ape.

ouh buntu =.="

k ah.
tdo.

bye.

||pic credit to Mr.Google||

woot woottt~

2011-11-01T15:06:00.006+08:00

eheh~!

on a tuesday, and i dunno wat to type here =.="
mate aku tgh tgk Bleach @ Animax =.="
sesambil mncari ilham nk potpet psl ape =.="

Animax waktu mlm, subtitle agak bodo =.="
so, it's better tgk ulangtayang die di keesokkanharinye tuk tgk subtitle penuh.
wahahahaha~

haihhh~

aku x reti ah g check kt YouTube n cari pakwe² idaman hati tuk mnghiburkn hati aku yg tgh kosong skrng neh =.="
x terer cam adek² aku yg len *sigh*

diorg cam taw je ape yg diorg nk taip + cari kt lam YouTube tuh =.="
guess i'm not really a diehard fan huh ?
lalalalalala~

kalo nk tgk pn, kna tggu adek² aku donlod klip diorg yg mnggelikn hati tuh tuk tontonan aku ;p
akekekekekekeke~

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~ *tarikrambut*
b.o.s.a.n TT_______TT

lalalalalala~

nk buat projek, tp tataw nk buatpe TT____TT
at least dis past few days aku bz gak mngubah layout aku neh.
skrng, aku da abes. . .aku tataw nk buatpe TT_________TT
ouh tidak~ TT_____TT

k ah.
jln² =D

ja ne ! ouh~! Happy November ! ^-^

alhamdulillah~ smpai juge ke bln 11 bg thn neh :) eheh~

may d end of d year, ma family and i will live more peacefully + happy ^^ we need it.

beeep~

2011-10-31T18:15:00.003+08:00

ngaa~

had rainy days for days nw.
well, it is nearing to d monsoon season anyway =.="

huhu~

ok. i dun have anything to post up.

so, bye :) have a fine day ppl ! ^-^

little notes : i dun have any social websites. hee~ i deleted them all for good. d only thing remain is twitter which i seldom online. usually i'll blog ;)
well ! have fun ! salam ^-^

what do u want to say actually boy ?

2011-10-31T14:03:00.006+08:00

hola ! =D

herm.

have u ever had this sentence been said to u ?
If i won't / can't / don't_______?

slalunye ah kn, for me la. . .
if i use the word 'If' at d front of a sentence, i meant 2 things :

1. i want to noe wat kind of answer i'll get from the other person so that i can act.
2. i am giving a statement indirectly + pray that d other person can get wat i mean.

huhu~

it's like playing mind games with twisting words :D
menyusahkn diri sendiri ? maybe.

aku slalu gune 'Kalau. . .' bile aku xmo jwb certain things or xmo bgtau ape yg sbnrnye dlm hutak aku =.="
bleh dkatakn, i like to make things hanging =D
jahat er ? huhu~

so bile somebody saying; If I don't want to ? If I can't ? If I won't ? - to me, they actually meant to say that 'I need you to tell me something so that I can be sure with what I have in mind."
kn ?

kdg², bile aku rase malas. . .i'll say it directly to that person's face.
no twisting words, no second meanings. . .plain truth.

example :

A : If I won't let it go ?
Me : Then, i'll do it.

but if i'm in the mood to tease, then i'll probably say this instead :

A : If I don't want to ?
Me : What are you trying to say ?

mwahah~!
i'll ask back, mmbuatkn manusia tuh elaborate about what actually is going on in that head of theirs =.="

kalo jenis yg mngalah, xpe.
kalo jenis yg cepat tngkap, diorg akn repeat : hey ! i asked 1st =.="

mwahahaha~!
so, perang of the strongest will la plak =.=" lalalalala~

so what actually manusia neh nk capai by asking me that ? =.="
huhhhh~! *geram*
a confirmation ?
satu jwpn tuk mmbolehkn u plan to do wat's next ?

kalo aku jwb x ikut ape yg palahutak ko nak, ko nk buatpe ?

huhu~

ade certain tyms, i dun want to hurt ppl by replying back harshly.
i tend to reply as softly as i can.
i tend to b a bit cautious around a certain group of ppl in ma life.
mcm ma family, sensitive + timid friends, or someone that i happen to care deeply :)
care aku jwb kt mereka neh, usually i dun want to make them hurt by d choice of words i'm using.

even strangers pn, aku jwb sopan :) baik x ? hahahahaha~ *bragbrag* ;p

bile ade org lam group tuh tny aku soklan yg ade 'If' . . .
i tend to b in shock for a while + palahutak aku start spinning at top speed nk carik d ideal answer to reply.
i dun want to hurt them bt i need to say what i have to say.
i dun like misunderstandings.
i dun like ma msg been received halfway.

so, d sentence - If I won't let go ?
coming from that group of ppl, it took me off-guard.
dlm pala - Why ??
why won't u let go ?
can u elaborate more of wat ur asking ?
is that even a question u want to ask me ?
or is that wat u actually wanna say + do ?
which one is it ?

i want to understand exactly what u wanna say.
dun keep me hanging. so pls elaborate.

i've done my part and i can't do it anymore.
i've been staying like this for years.
can't u juz say something to make me believe that u want me to stay ?
can't u juz do something to make me believe that u need me to stay ?
can't u juz do anything to make me believe you ?
coz it's been hard for me to actually holding on to something that i dunno whether d thing between us still exists.
is it still there ?
do u still love me ?
do u still need me ?
do u still want me to b by ur side ?
or ur juz being selfish ?

i am juz a woman.
i have lots of insecurities.
i know things won't last very long + trying to find true meaningful things are kinda impossible nowadays.

tapi adakah masih wujud sesuatu antara kita ?
adakah kewujudannya cukup kuat tuk menyatukan hati kita yg da lame terpisah, jiwa kita yg masih ragu² dsebabkan terlalu lama berdiam + bersembunyi ?

huh~~~ =.="

ok. this post is about heart matters =.=" urgh !
aku ingt aku xkn taip suda entri jenis yg ini =.="
dis sucks big time !

ahhhhh~ bye for nw !

at last !!

2011-10-31T01:56:00.004+08:00

wahah~!
akhirnye, puas hati den brsengkang mate mnggodam coding html tuk blog aku neh =.="
nek julen pn ado =.=" aiyaa~!

tp, dgn berkat kesabaran tuk mncari dan mencari. . .akhirnye, aku amat berpuas hati dgn layout blog aku neh. wahahaha~!

well, ade yg sgguh kacak layoutnye. . .tp stakat neh je yg den mmpu TT____TT
mato den bleh bngkak w0ooo~
wahaha~ ;p

k ah =.="
ngntok !

out ! salam ;)

gudnyt ^-^

||pic credited to Mr.Google||

U-Kiss - OK [eng trans]

2011-10-30T14:49:00.007+08:00

We’re back, we’re back in the game
I’m back, back, back, back to single
I’m back, back, back, back to single
It’s brave!

I thought I should not think for no one else but you
I believe that I would do things for only you
if not, it wasn’t love
If it’s not the you I loved, I can’t think of no one else

It’s crazy, by my heart believed that illusion
I wouldn’t know even if I died
The arrogant you is ok, anything you do is ok,
I was such a pathetic fool
This has to end now

Ok, it’s ok, I’m alright without you
Ok, it’s ok, don’t be so conceited
Ok, it’s ok, I don’t want to live with a beggar
Ok, it’s ok, Ok, it’s ok

Let’s go party know, let’s have fun
Move your body now, shake crazily
let’s go party know, let’s get drunk tonight
Move your body now, it’s fun even without you

I’m back as a gorgeous single
I can remove our couple ring
Now without guilt, I can go to club again
I don’t love you no more, it’s time to gotta go
Hope you find what you looking for

Now I don’t have to notice you,
I can meet other girls comfortably
Out of your imprisonment, I can enjoy myself freely
You, get out quickly, get back to the game

You’re no longer the number on my handphone’s speed dial
It’s gone, it’s gone
You ain’t no more my baby, I’m free

It’s crazy, but my heart believed that illusion
I wouldn’t know even if I died
The arrogant you is ok, anything you do is ok,
I was such a pathetic fool
This has to end now

Ok, it’s ok, I’m alright without you
Ok, it’s ok, don’t be so conceited
Ok, it’s ok, I don’t want to live with a beggar
Ok, it’s ok, Ok, it’s ok

Back in the market
besides me now
I don’t care

Uh, uh, U-kiss
Uh, uh, Like this
Uh, uh, Like that
Somebody say woo-ah

Uh, uh, U-kiss
Uh, uh, we ok
Uh, uh ain’t no brake
Somebody say woo-ah

Ok, it’s ok, I’m alright without you
Ok, it’s ok, don’t be so conceited
Ok, it’s ok, I don’t want to live with a beggar
Ok, it’s ok, Ok, it’s ok

Let’s go party know, let’s have fun
Move your body now, shake crazily
Let’s go party know, let’s get drunk tonight
Move your body now, it’s fun even without you

Ok, by U-Kiss ♥

||credit to Princess.Of.Tea||

this is d eng trans ^-^ if u wanna see d hangeul ver, u can juz click on Princess.Of.Tea mentionned above ^-^

this ! is hw i feel ^-^
no other words could convey truthfully abt wat i wanna say like this song could ;p
wahah !

i take out the ring that had been around ma neck. it is time to let go of everything that connects me to the memories i had with you.
ur ring, doesn't mean anything to me anymore. NO, it doesn't.

.
.
.

finally, i AM FREE :)

glad !

Infinite ♥

2011-10-30T14:37:00.002+08:00

currently, i'm happy :)

happily in love with this damn song TT____TT wahahahaha~

ouh juz a bunch of boys, dancing energetically to d rythim + melody making me wanna dance too ^-^

not exactly kkotminam yet coz they're still young n all ;p
need a lot of seasoning ;p
ahhh~ can't wait for them to bloommmm~~~ ♥♥♥

d newest hype after d boys of UKiss ♥ [for me la =.="]
lots actually bt i couldn't point out which malegroup TT____TT [TeenTop, Boyfriends. . .etc~ gile ah ramaiii~!!!] too many talented ppl ;p
d newest is Hwanhee boys - MyName.
ma sis says they're d exact reflections of Hwanhee's type for music ;p bet it's great huh ?
can't wait to see their debut on MuBank or Inkigayo ^^

bt for nw, i have ma eyes on these boys of Infinite ♥-♥ *drool~*

ok ah.

mepek =.="

bubye =D

2011-10-29T11:44:00.001+08:00

sigh =.="

men gem ah.

bye :)

Antara Kelebihan Ayat Kursi

2011-10-28T15:17:00.012+08:00

salam :)
jln² trjmpe neh kt status someone ;p
well, drpd aku mepek meraban. . .bek aku buat amal jariah kn ? ^-^

Sampaikan kepada orang lain, maka ini adalah sedekah jariah. Dan pada setiap orang yg mengamalkan, kamu akan ikut mendapat pahalanya sampai hari kiamat.wallahualam :)

P/S:: Jangan lupe share dah sebarkan .. ^_^

i miss you Pa, Amal ♥

2011-10-28T15:12:00.001+08:00

i miss ma beloved papa. *sigh*
i miss ma beloved bby bro too.

i juz pray that both of them are at peace on d other side :)

AlFatihah.

=.=" . . . nothingness

2011-10-28T11:10:00.003+08:00

huhhhhhhh~ =.="

raining on a friday. ma 2 sisters are gone having a picnic wif their colleagues.
i think not a picnic la since tgh mendung neh =.=" huhuhu~

well, nothing to say.

dgr lagu je ah. huh~

everybody loves a casanova. . .

2011-10-27T17:31:00.005+08:00

bt does he ever truly loves ONE woman in his pathetic life ?

when can i find a man that is strong enough [and foolish enough ;p] to reject thousands of beautiful, sexy + glamorous females juz to b with plain me ? =.=" *sigh*

dearest lil devil, let me go.

2011-10-27T14:50:00.002+08:00

huh~ =.="
sore abes setiap inci bdn wa dsbbkn SnSd nyer dance routine for The Boys kelmarin =.="
angkat tgn sket, saketttt~ TT_____TT
jln sket, saketttt~ TT____TT
makaihhh~
payah beno le dance routine neh weh =.="
ouh well, susah x susah dpt gak settle d 1st phase within 2hrs. miahahahaha~

ok =.="
ari neh, aku trjage to a dream of him. again ! >.<" grrr~!!
weird, sbb aku da pusing sane, pusing sini. . .tetap smbung kt tmpt aku trjage skjap =.="
ye ah. org kate, kalo tgh mmpi n then trjage skjap tp still on d same location. . .will mmpi bnde yg same or maybe smbungan of d dream =.="
aku trjage then moved a bit. . .still continuing d dream !! *tarikrambut*
urgh~! =.="
aku xmo mmpi die ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~!!!!! *hempas²*
ishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~!!!

benciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~!!! TT___________TT

stop thinking about me u stupid dope ! *jelirngamok*
i dun want to have u in ma dreams anymore =.="
it's suffocating.
it's heart-wrenching.
it's pestering me =.="

camne aku nk jmpe My Adam kalo mangkok hayun neh asyik muncul lam idop aku ? =.="
hish~!

wahai Encik Adam, whoever u are. . .yg suppose to b ma partner-in-crime d spnjg kehidupan aku. . . .cepatlah menjelma didalam hidup aku *sigh*
aku da letih ah.
x larat.
cepat dtg n prove to me that YOU are supposedly to b MY PRISON for d rest of ma life =.="
not this prick *roll-eyes*

it's better if i juz run + hide til my REAL prince charming dtg to save me frm this once-upon-a-tym-prince-charming =.="
i noe, he's not for me. i got that a long tym ago :)
tuh psl aku buat tataw je.
ignore his very existence in ma heart.
sbb die, OFF LIMITS suda trtera di dahi beliau. =.="

jd, aku meneruskan perjalanan hidup aku without him by my side :)
lgpn, buatpe simpan a cowardly ass in my life =.=" betul ?
lalalalala~

he's brave in doing other things except confronting d future with me :)
he is not brave enough. . .for me :)
coz if he was, he won't b so very far apart from me :) we will still b together facing d future, no matter what held inside it.

kn ?

so i gave up. i noe i should give up a long tym ago coz he already gave me up 3yrs ago.
he gave me up for a life that is far simpler than being with me by his side.
i get it.

so, pergi jejauh ah my lil devil :)
i let u go. live ur life as full as u can.
let me live peacefully on ma own.
let me find another man who is worthy to have me.
let me go ma dearest lil devil.
let me go.

it breaks ma heart to admit this. so goodbye. finally.

2011-10-25T14:46:00.003+08:00

life's full of shit sometimes. bt it doesn't mean u can't clean them up again + b aware of them whenever u try to walk again. heck, d worse thing can happen is u smell >.< wahaha~
bt those smell will remind u of ur past :)
learn frm them + b wiser for d future ;)

*pic courtesy of Mr.Google

short hair + breaking promises = dreaming of him ? doesn't make sense =.=" at all !

2011-10-24T16:00:00.005+08:00

huh~ *heave a very heavy sigh*

dreamt of u. again !

darn =.="

i wonder why =.="
stop messing wif ma dream kingdom =.="

i dunno why since i cropped my hair short, u kept on appearing =.="
rase brsalah ka ?

ouh tidak !
rambut aku, ske ati aku nk buat ape dgn rmbut aku =.="
i dun bother wif wat promises i have made involving wif ma hair =.="
for me, if ppl dun bother to keep their promises to me. . .so why should i bother to keep mine to theirs ?
make sense kn ?
lalalalalala~

lgpn, ma head weighs a lot these past few days =.="
couldn't think properly.
so i come to a decision to have it short ^-^
not too short bt short ;p
hahahahahahaha~

ok la =.="
nk tgk Upin + Ipin =D

bubye !

lala~ head spinningggggg

2011-10-23T13:39:00.002+08:00

i dun do anything and yet i feel tired =.="
i guess i burn a lot in ma mind.
too many things to think + daydreaming abt things that maybe won't b happening in d real world.
like for example, if i could marry Lee Dong Wook. wahahahaha~ =.="

ok. i'm blabbering nonsense.

bye ^^

dream of u. againnnn~! =.="

2011-10-21T08:53:00.001+08:00

aiyaa~ =.="

dream of u again today. ^^
can't elaborate more since i have to send Mother to d airport today :)

so, later !

little notes : it had a happy ending ^^ i'm glad. bt i guess, it meant ur missing me terribly ;p lalalalala~

i dreamt of you, boy.

2011-10-19T15:11:00.003+08:00

herm.

for hw long already since d last tym i saw u in ma dreams :)
it's been a while i guess.
i don't remember the last tym i saw u in ma dreamland.huhu~

u were smiling. laughing around, having fun with my family.
u held my hand, nvr letting it go.
and when there's someone took an interest at me, ur jealousy arises.
u hold on to ur temper and let me swim my way out of those ppl and come standing right next to u.
u looked so cute, venting ur anger down. . .and glare at those ppl ;p haha~!
so adorable.

eventhough i don't hear ur voice, at least i could see ur face.
the face that i've been missing for years.
eventhough in reality, i am angry at you for being a jackass bt deep down, i love u with all ur flaws. . .i missed u a lot.

ur hair was moving by d wind. d sun shone through, made u looked beautiful to me.
crazy ? maybe.
but that's hw i saw u in ma dream last nite. ur beautiful.
i could smell ur skin. . .ur perfume. . .
eventhough ur a bit further away from me.
maybe it's d wind carrying ur scent towards me.
making me remember how u smell like under the sun and the wind.

eventhough it was brief but it made me smile and made my anger ceased down a lot, making me realize that i am missing you.
even it's only a dream, it was a blessing for me :)
it made me cure my heartache from missing and being angry at you.

hw can i love u still ?
a smile from u, a look from ur eyes. . .
made me standing there, froze like a statue. . .in awe. making me loving u more n more, never decreases through all these years.
and that minus your voice :) powerful. huhu.

hw can i miss u still ?
when there's a huge distance + time between us.
i juz dunno hw i can still love + miss u through all this tym and that feeling never go down even an inch bt increases each and every day.
it goes stronger and stronger, and i am clueless to how i can become like this.

u made me like this.
makes me crazy for still loving u, still holding on eventhough ur so far away.
like a dream, ur juz too good to be true.

even hw hard i hold on to my dreams, bt when i woke up. . .ur gone :(
it's a bittersweet after-taste.

are u a dream, boy ?
come to me for a short while then u juz went away to make me face reality face-hard.
can u stay with me, boy ?
or is it too much for me to ask ?
do u know that i love u, boy ?
or am i juz fooling myself for loving someone that i can't have ?
do u know that i miss u, boy ?
do u know that my heart aches too many times already because of my feelings for you, boy ?

do you feel the same like i do, boy ?
or am i juz playing on a one-way road where u dun meet me at d crossroads to tell me that u love me too, miss me too ?

can i have you, boy ?
or is it too selfish of me to want you, to need you, to have you for myself ?

huhhhhhhhhhh~

i'm screwed =.=" i know. this feeling will eventually make me go insane =.=" period.

jerkasaurus !

2011-10-17T18:09:00.003+08:00

i.
do.
not.
care.
anymore.

u understand ?

huh~!

so buzz off and enjoy ur life. let me enjoy mine u jerk ! =.="

:-??

2011-10-17T17:13:00.001+08:00

it had been a very tiring weekend for me =.="

got loads of things to do next.

hadoi~!

letih. letih.

2011-10-15T10:28:00.000+08:00

it's tiring to wait and i've been waiting for a very long tym. ironic hw i do things contrast to wat i say wen it comes to u. bt no more :) it's suffocating to keep on waiting wen u noe hw to swim urself to shore. nw, i'm swimming bck coz ur too much to hope for. wat a jerk.

=.=" . . .xde idea nk letak title ape.

2011-10-07T01:10:00.002+08:00

kadang² rase cam nk terbang =.="
fly away to another place to release my disappointment.
sometyms i want to fly away to a place wherever he is :)
rindu katekn ;p

rite nw ?
i'm feeling both.
tp kuat yg latter ;p haha !

entah le.

rindu ke die pd aku ?
aku mls nk tny soalan tuh kt diri aku sbb seriously i dunno d answer to that question dimana die je yg bleh jwb =.=" grr~!

aku sedar. byk da bnde brubah.
tp dlu, at least. . .ade la juga aku dgr suara die. . .or terime msg dr die. . .
walopn da lame die x contact pn :)
kdg² he'll surprise me wif late nite calls or even late nite msgs ♥
i missed those tyms.

hearing him talk. hearing him mumbling things abt what happened to his day. hearing his voice ♥

i miss him.

huh~

kenape la manusia neh yg aku rindu ? *tarikrambut*
xde org len ke ?
belambak laki kt luar sane, dieeee~ gak yg aku rindu =.="
demm !

*sigh*

i miss you.
i miss you so terribly, dak kecik.

huh~!

Smiley-face Men VS Serious-face Men.

2011-10-04T17:03:00.005+08:00

eheh~

aku dok tgk² post kt fb neh, smpai nek julen mate. . .aku trnmpk post - Lelaki suke senyum x menarik minat wanita.

haha~!
aku trgelak skjap.

artikel tuh kate, wanita lebih trtarik kpd muka lelaki yg angkuh, sombong + moody. itu sebabnye wanita lebih cenderung kepada lelaki 'badboy'.

aku trgelak skjap.

haha !

in ma opinion la, lelaki yg jarang senyum neh menakutkn aku =.=" unless muke die cam Christian Bale ;p jenis yg x senyum pn xpe, sbb muke die hensem.hahaha~!

menunjukkn bahwesenye, lelaki tuh susah tuk didekati oleh sesape.
cam abah aku, jenis friendly. hahaha~
ntah mane aku dpt muke sombong aku neh =.=" lalala~
TAPI ! kalo abah aku x senyum, makaihhh~ sombong =.="
mama aku pn friendly gak, senyum je sokmo tp kalo environment yg die x knl, well. . .muke sombong ;p kahkahkah~

xkn ah nk senyum cam kerang busuk weh =.="
letih ah pp =.="

wuh~ da trpesong ! haha~!

brbalik kpd opinion aku, lelaki yg suke senyum neh menarik bg aku. happy, fun + carefree nyer manusia.
tgk muke pn sejukkkk~ je hati. kn kn ? ;p

cam neh;

*courtesy frm; DramaCrazy.net

hensem kn kn ? haha~!
tp mamat neh x senyum pn gojes =.=" hahaha~
d thing is, it is more likely to love a smiling man frm a non-smiling one ;p they look charming. =D

for d gorgous men yg x smiling la kn. . .maybe ye la kot cam artikel tuh kate.
tertarik to that moody, unsmiling face. . .like there's a bit of a mysteriousness surrounding those kind of men ;p
sexy ey ? ;p haha~!

cam dak kecik.
aku x kate die seksi + hot or watever =.="
juz there was a certain tym when he didn't smile and stared blankly to space, his face then looked kinda hot to me ;p haha~!
tuh psl kdg² aku ske curi² pndg tym die x sedar. tym die x senyum. tym die tgh preoccupied with sumthing ;p
muke die serious tuh, mmbuatkn perasaan keibuan aku tuh agak tinggi. hahaha~ cam nk cubit pp die bg die senyum. kahkahkah~ or marah ke. . .papela jnji die x static camtu =.="

itu baru muke die x senyum pn aku da rase camtu, agak² kalo muke die senyum ?
hahahaha~

i like seeing him smile :) laugh even.
especially d ones yg dtg dari hati die. ikhlas nk senyum + gelak at dat tym.
it made him looked charming + bubbly ^^ like a kid.

okayyyy.
this is kinda weird =.="

last² end up abt him =.=" darn !

k ah.

out ! huhu~

Cara senang dpt pahala lps mati.

2011-10-04T16:25:00.002+08:00

eheh.

aku bosan² skali nmpk ini. so wat say me ? copypaste saje ^^ moga² ape yg aku buat neh dpt mmberi manfaat kpd aku, x skrng maybe insyaAllah, di alam satu lagi ^^ amin.

where i get dis ? fb la =D
da slalu sgt nmpk, tp tetibe hari neh nk post kt blog.
too bored i guess.
dgn hujannye lagi.
ngahahaha~

so sesambil dgr lagu - Lonely by Jung Sungha neh ♥ aku nk brangan bleh ?

what's in my mind nw.

2011-10-03T17:31:00.004+08:00

dun u think so too ?

little notes : if ur wondering where is ma shoutbox, it's on d tab menu above this post =D juz in case ur wondering ;p haha ! some ppl's eyes are too tired to look out for it ^^ so there u have it ! ;p

title.not.required. =.="

2011-10-03T16:52:00.001+08:00

little notes : demmit dak kecik =.=" why do i still have a large portion of empty space in ma chest when ur gone ? =.=" why can't i juz move on ? why~ ?

bebom tatatatttaaa~

2011-10-03T16:22:00.001+08:00

i think i need to get ma head clear up =.=" it's kinda messy.
huhu~

actually, i dun have anything to write :) so, better do another thing to distract myself frm being so damn bored ;p eheh~

dream wedding ? er~ . . .

2011-10-02T17:11:00.003+08:00

okeh.
meh kite brangan kejap er.

wa er, kalo adelah diberi rezeki tuk brnikah suatu hari nnti er. . .wa nk wedding wa diadakan di kg Mdm wa; Baliwasan Chico, Zamboanga City, Philippines.

why ?
coz i dun like adat so much. too costly. too time consuming. membazir =.="
lgpn, wa kalo bleh nk ikut cam Abah + Mama wa nikah dlu. simple je. jnji yg wajib suda ditunaikn dgn selamat, itu pn suda memadai bg wa :)

tp, bile wa kate camtu kt Mdm. . .die x setuju =.="
sbb apo ?
sbb wa anak sulung. haha !

so, segala persiapan akan dibuat di kg Mdm blah sane.
arwah Abah wa dlu kate, bile wa dgn adek² wa da smpai mase nnti nk nikah. . .beliau bertitah - no free hair ha ! no gown² ha ! abah nk anak² abah pkai songket.
pergh !
so, tradisi melayu yg itu akan dibawa ke sana :) songket.

Mdm wa plak nk buat koje =.="
nk buat hantaran sendiri. wa brkali tny, nk buat hantaran ke ?
kalo nk ikutkn wa, x payah ! mnyomak yo ! =.="
lps akad nikah, terus wat wedding reception + doa selamat je. pehtu makan !
wahaha !
seronok kn idea wa ?
tp Mdm wa xmo buat sesimple itu =.="
she wants to introduce the Malay tradition to them, if not 100% at least a bit la to show to Mdm side about hw the Malays do weddings here =D

pergh ! satu koje laie nk buek tuh =.="

well, itu hanyalah angan² =.="
ontah diaplikasikn ke tidak, wa tataw.
papehal, kna tggu wa ade calon la er =D haha !

k ah.

bye =D

juz another day.

2011-10-02T17:04:00.003+08:00

wondering + pondering abt d days.

i'm working ma butt off =.=" aiyaaaa~

keje x masok akal neh =.="

huhhhhhhh~

caiyok ! target kna capai ! hoyehhhhh !

little notes : i'm working out like there's no tomorrow =.=" hadoi~! wa kalo da kuwus, lu bleh ke thn dgn ramai manusia dok melirik mata ngorat wa ? /:) wakakakakakaka~ =)) adeh cramp abs wa =; saket sakettt~!

Happy Birthday Papa !

2011-09-27T13:43:00.004+08:00

da lame Abah pergi tinggalkan along & yg lain.
mcm bru semalam tgk Abah dgn Amal senyum2 & gelak2 dgn kami.

hari neh bufday Abah :)
along rindu sgt dgn Abah ;(

herm. along bknnye jenis ngadu tp along nk sgt mngadu kt Abah about a lot of things.
it's been hard living every day without u & Amal.
walopn kitorg x ckp byk psl neh & try to remmber only d fun & happy memories we had together. . .
it still pains us to d core, Pa.

rumah plak exactly d same like it used to b despite d little bit of changes here n there.
along kdg2 mngharap to see u come bck frm work and Amal frm school.
tp i noe, i won't see that anymore.

i missed u both so much til ma heart breaks.
even rite nw, i'm still fighting bck d tears.
Ya Allah lindungilah mereka dr azab. peliharalah mereka.
Ya Allah, jika aku layak ke syurgaMu. . .izinkn aku menunggu tuk brsame2 brjln ke pintu syurga brsame ahli keluarga ku.
amin.

Abah ! Amal !
along rindu sgt.
it makes me more hurt coz Mama xde kt sini.
along sedih sbb Mama slalu ade whenever our birthdays coming soon die ade tp nw ?
along merungut ek ?
aha. mmg along merungut.
sbb Mama xde kat sini.

biarlah along nk dengki cam budak2.
sbb slame ni along x pnh nk buat cam budak2.
tp bile dpkkn balik, xpelah. along redha.
asalkn Mama happy.

xpelah Pa. . . Mal.
along sedekahkn bacaan along ngaji ye nnti ^^
harap dpt memudahkn Abah dgn Amal kt sane :)

Happy Birthday Pa :*

bile da xleh nk bendung lagi =.="

2011-09-25T07:58:00.005+08:00

haih~
x jadi gak aku nk tdo =.="

psl per ?

tetibe jek mood jiwang.wahahahaha~

nothing actually. juz suddenly there's a surge of powerful emotions slowly surfacing from within :)

i dunno why. i dun even noe hw it gets so powerful.

lagu plak cambest je kn =.=" lgi ah menyemarakkn lagi perasaan yg agak dormant neh =.="

fuhh~
why ?

i dunno.
i tried to ignore whenever this kind of feeling comes back attacking.
and whenever i did, i couldn't help but missing d person who gives me dis kind of feelings.
weird =..=" *hembuskuat²*

sometyms, i couldn't help to flash back all d memories that i had with dat person.
the way he laughs, the way he looks at me, the way he smiles, the way his voice sounds like. . .everything about him that i could remember.

semalam mase tgk wayang, ade some part si Shaheizy neh buat mengingatkn aku kt die.
i even said to Mdm which part ! ;p
part bile die mngomel manje kt watak Yana tym die ade family gathering for die nyer company.
hembus² through d nostrils dgn comelnye. . .sore yg dibudak-budakkn ;p
seriously, aku tringt die.
mase tuh, aku trgamam sekejap. *smbil admire Shaheizy sbb die sgguh comel tym tuh.haha !*

when did i see that kind of behaviour ?
almost 4yrs ago. when he was juz right next to me, always.
bile tringt, hny Allah je yg tahu betapa trkedunye aku tgk babak tuh lam wayang.
Ya Allah, rindunye aku kt manusia tuh.
hati aku neh, cam ade org genggam slow². . .saje bg aku sesak.

aiyaa. . . =.="

fuhhhh~
amek nafas dlm². . .lepassss~
kurangkn sket rase saket dlm hati aku skrng neh.
aku tataw nape aku rindu sgt kt manusia neh =.="
hadoi la Mohammad Najib. =.="
why is it you whom i so missed ?
why ? =.="

tell me how can i erase u ?
tell me how can i get on with my life without having to remember u ?
tell me how can i love another again ?

. . .

it's weird. frustrating even.
why am i in this kind of situation anyway ? =.="

kenape aku rindu sgt pd manusia yg aku x ptut rindu ?
kenape aku masih cintakn manusia yg aku x ptut cinta ?
kenape aku masih sayangkn manusia yg aku x ptut sayang ?
MELAMPAU plak tuh =.="
over gile smpai rase cam dada neh sesak sgt sbb ade prasaan ini for this person.

ye. kdg² aku brtny kpd diri aku sndiri - y can't i have him ?
kire kes x puas ati =.="
walopn aku kate yg aku da melepaskn, my actions ?
huhu~ who am i fooling anyway ? =.="

perasaan ini, walopn aku nk delete camne pn. . .aku marah camne pn. . .aku geram camne pn. . .
hati aku tetap kalah dgn cinta, rindu + syg yg aku ade utk manusia yg ini.

can somebody pls help me erase all these feelings ?
pls. . .help me forget.
sbb aku rase cam x mmpu nk tolak die jauh² dr hati aku walopn secare fizikalnye aku mmg beratus km jauh drpd die.
Alhamdulillah aku jauhhhh drpd die :p
kalo die kt dpn mate aku, aku blagak gagah pehtu lari cepat² then nanes :|
ouh patheticnye =.="

betape sedihnye sbb aku x bleh lagi memegang erat manusia yg aku xbleh nk capai.
eventhough i wanna say that i have a chance IF i wanted but my pride makes me stand firm.
eventhough i wanna shout out loud that i love him but my pride won't let me.

hak org is hak org. walopn org yg brade disamping die merampas die drpd aku dlu =.="
melainkn, there'll be a twist of fate ;p
nahhh~ sumenye ketentuan Allah.

papehal, i'll pray for d best and let's juz wait and see it through all the way in the end :)

amin.

tgk wayang pt 2 [24Sept2011]

2011-09-25T06:19:00.002+08:00

continuation :

snap : 4

*tiket TGV MesraMall, Kerteh ♥

snap : 5

*oke~ posing jap ! ;p

snap : 6

*haha ! Ms.Ecah beli smpai 3combo.trkejut skjap =.=" rupe² nye Ms.Ecah beli extra for us ;p haha !

venue : TGV MesraMall, Kerteh, Terengganu.
occasion : watch - Bini-biniku Gengster @ 1725.

comments on d movie : best ! abes saket perut aku gelak :p hahaha ! BUT, points may differ between people. so i suggest u guys have to watch it on ur own ;p hehe~

done watching, kitorg pegi ah bkk pose kt PizzaHut ^^ wah~! mmg dream comes true ah ! heheee~
trserempak gak dgn Angah Edy wif d gang. woops~ =.=" rupenye kitorg one house.haha !

oke ah. nk smbung tdo ^^

solat subuh then, dushhhh~ off to bed. have to get a bit of sleep so that i could drive Mdm to Kuantan Airport later.huhu~

bye~

salam.

tgk wayang pt 1 [24Sept2011]

2011-09-25T05:59:00.004+08:00

wahaha !

salam + good morning ;)

what'll i post up for today ? *thinking*

aha~!

i guess i better post up what i did yesterday with my family ;p

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

oke !

yesterday, tetibe Mdm ajak g tgk wayang ;p
tp memandangkn aku + Mdm brpose, kitorg xde ah mkn brunch melainkn 3yg len ;p haha !

snap : 1

*menunggu d trio to order food.

snap : 2

*OwnerBlog.haha ! ye, wa taw.wa control cute =.=" demmit ! jrg oke wa nk tunjuk muke =.="

snap : 3

*Ms.Ecah + Ms.Fiffy; chow time ! Ms.Farah hilang membeli air ;p

next !

done !

2011-09-24T09:36:00.004+08:00

ngaa~
puteh je aku tgk blog aku neh.tenang sket jiwa wa~
wahahahaha~!

oke ah. =.="

da update per yg ptut.

tym tuk tdo smula ;p
mato da berat da neh.

ngaa~

out ! salam ;p

*image credit to Mr.Google

picca : Wedding Kak Nurul pt 2

2011-09-24T07:21:00.009+08:00

snap : 5

*the Bride; Kak Nurul

snap : 6

*the Bride + Groom.

snap : 7

*kat pelamin suda.

snap : 8

*siap kompang ! besh gak ah performance diorg ^^

snap : 9

*ma family wif the newly weds.

huhu !
aku sbnrnye da xde mood.tuh psl muke camtu =.=" xleh nk senyum.
pasal per ?
ade ah. atas sebab² trtentu.aku da tencen jd maw balik suda.
haish~ =.="

papehal, ok la.no further comment.at least aku + family tunjuk gak muke kn.itu yg penting =D lalala~

little notes : wa malas layan manusia yg ske majok x tentu psl =.=" kire bgus ah wa + family nk dtg er ? nk ikutkn, wa da malas nk jejak kg.tp dsbbkn wa dididik dgn baik oleh Arwah Abah wa - kite dijemput. . .jd x bek kalo x dtg.Alhamdulillah, wa pegang kate Abah wa =.=" astaghfirullahal'azim~

picca : Wedding Kak Nurul pt 1

2011-09-24T07:13:00.006+08:00

snap : 1

*kami =D

snap : 2

*Mak Itam [Mdm] wif Along Ira, Along Hana + Faqihah

snap : 3

*for so many years, dis is d 1st tym kitorg amek pic same² ^^

snap : 4

*Mak Itam wif anak².ramaiii~ haha !

venue : Perkarangan rumah Mak Andak + family @ Masjid Tanah, Melaka.
date : 16Sept2011
occasion : Nikah + Sanding.

picca : Syawal 1432H pt 2

2011-09-24T06:47:00.008+08:00

continuation :

snap : 5

*Ms.Fiffy, Mdm, Ms.Ecah + Ms.Farah ♥

snap : 6

*Mereka ;p haha !

snap : 7

*babai ! da puas jln² ^^ walopn makcik Farah nk men =.="

haha ! abes da ;p
memandangkn kitorg dtg hny tuk merehatkn bdn yg letih sbb a very long trip frm kg.
so, x men sgt ah kt sane =) sempat men kt Snow World je ^^

eh =.=" aku lupe sesuatu. alaaaa~ pic kt kg ! demm =.=" post next !

picca : Syawal 1432H pt 1

2011-09-24T06:22:00.011+08:00

ok !

i'm gonna post pics frm ma trip spnjg bln Syawal neh ;p

ngaa~ tp x ikut turutan la ;p
dun mind ! i'll post up d tarikh as well ^^ ngee~

snap : 1

*baby Najjah wif Mdm :) 17Sept2011

snap : 2

*baby Najjah wif Mommy El :) 17Sept2011

venue : Desa Pinggiran Putra, Putrajaya
date : 17 September 2011
occasion : Open House, Menyambut Baby + Farewell to El.

snap : 3

* Ms. Ecah wif OwnerBlog @ Genting =D

snap : 4

*Mdm wif Ms. Farah ^^

venue : Hotel Seri Malaysia, Genting Highlands.
date : 17 September 2011

kitorg sbnrnye da letih.bgn plak tuh awal² =.="
so, dsbbkn mngantuk sgt. . .saye cadangkn kpd Mdm - 'Apa kata. . . ?' haha !
tuh psl end up kt Genting ;p lalalala~

next !

ngaa~

2011-09-24T06:06:00.003+08:00

hey ! salam ;p

huh !

so many things to post up but 1st, i'll juz do mane yg trmmpu. wahahaha~ *gelaksengal*

okeh. . .sambil browse things on d net, i'll juz think of a good thing to post up ;p

lalala~

later !

adeyh =.="

2011-09-18T22:35:00.003+08:00

erm.
sumtyms i felt lyk it isn't fair for myself.

why ? what ?

huh~
unfair because he can easily update himself things happening to me.
unfair because he can easily reassure himself how are my feelings for him.

as for myself ?
how can i know things about him and what are his feelings for me ?
xde. =.="

so, die bleh dtg kt tmpt neh and see for himself d things yg trjadi dlm hidup aku.
walopn aku x ceritakan semua tp ade la sket lobang for him to view a bit of ma lyf.

die ?
i can't possibly find any source to know d things happening in his lyf or juz simply ape yg ade lam hutak die at dat tym.
haih~!

x aci er ? =.="
tuh psal aku ske la nk delete blog aku neh kdg2 =.="
aku rase x puas hati. heh~ =.="

ouh x aci x aci =.="
dat's y ah aku mcm kepingin sgt nk mndengar dr mulut die sndiri how he felt or juz update me wif things going on wif his lyf.

tp er. . .
itu dulu. mase aku dgn die masih an item :)
even nw pn, aku rase cm nk delete je blog aku coz it's unfair for me.
unfair for me coz i dunno a single thing happening dlm idop die or ape yg die hadapi dlm hutak die.
bknnye aku NAK sangat tahu tp it's nice to noe certain thing abt wat's going on wif ur loved one's lyf.
is he missing me lyk d way i'm missing him ?
is his heart wanting me as much as mine wanting him too ?
is he feeling empty lyk d way i'm feeling empty too ?

is it too much for me to noe all those things ?
especially yg ade kaitan dgn aku.
salah ke aku ?
huhuhu~

little notes : ouh kerinduan yg melampau kpd dak kecik. gile aku neh =.=" rindu rindu. demm !

rindu. like crazy.

2011-09-18T07:25:00.002+08:00

rindu.

huh~
nape aku rindu sgt kt die neh ?
aku rindu suara die.
aku rindu muke die.
aku rindu nk men rmbut die.
aku rindu gelaktawa die.
aku rindu lawakbodo die.
aku rindu nak bersama dgn die.

pendek cite, i miss everything about him *sigh*

i wish he is here with me nw ;(
been missing him like crazy.

huh~ *heavy sigh*

bro ! wa rindu lu ah :(

2011-09-15T18:02:00.002+08:00

miss ma boy soooooooooo much !!
huh~
i wish him to b here, cuddling, goofing around n juz b together.

miss him so much !!!!!
arghhhh !
aku dpt laki neh mmg aku geget2 je ;p hahaha !

love him so much !

heavy heart + heavy sighs = missing someone

2011-09-11T22:02:00.006+08:00

I can be tough I can be strong
But with you, it’s not like that at all
There’s a girl that gives a shit
Behind this wall you just walk through it

And I remember all those crazy things you said
You left them running through my head
All those crazy things we did
Didn’t think about it just went with it
You’re always there, you’re everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

Damn Damn Damn what I’d do to have you here.
Damn Damn Damn what I'd do to have you near.

I love the way you are
It’s who I am
Don’t have to try hard
We always say it like this
And the truth, is that i really miss

No ! I don’t want to let go
I just wanna let you know
That I never wanna let go . . .

by, Avril Lavigne - Wish You Were Here ♥

sigh~

little notes : whenever dat tym comes, i will miss you like crazy.damn !

all i want is an apology.

2011-09-11T11:04:00.005+08:00

huh~

it's been years since that day where i had to take ma own way + he, his :)
along d journey, nvr did once i tried to push those memories away frm ma head.
it's hard.
at some point, i couldn't push it out anymore.
those memories were so deeply engraved in ma soul.

huh~

kdg², aku rimas.rimas dgn segala ingatan aku ttg seorg manusia neh.
seorg manusia yg mmg selame neh, aku cube tuk menolak kuar drpd hati + palahutak aku =.="

tell me why it's so hard ?
have u experience d same thing as i am ?

huh~
2ari lepas, [kot. . .x hengat] aku kemaskn brg² dlm almari baju aku.
trjmpe ma old diaries; book seven. [pergh ! byk =.=" currently, i'm doing 10 =D wahaha !]
citer thn 2008.thn yg byk berikn aku kenangan yg best ttg seorg manusia neh =)

suku trakhir 2008, 1st tym aku jmpe die rase nye *thinks back*
aku masih ingt camne brdebarnye jantung aku, betapa kecutnye perut aku bile die buat keputusan tuk brjmpe dgn aku.
tym tuh, aku tgh study lagi.
it was so nerve-recking.tiap² detik aku menunggu slps trime sms drpd die yg mnyatakan die bru lepas dr tol =.=" made ma heart + segala isi perut aku twist =.="
even telling dis makes ma stomach quiver =.=" darn !

then, after telling him d instructions on hw to come at ma place. . .
there he was.
kete kaler kunen ;p
aku nye glabah Tuhan je yg tahu :-s
kalo bleh nk kecikkn diri cam citer "Honey ! I shrunk the kids" pn jadi la :))
aku mmg xmo brdepan dgn manusia yg aku cinta, aku rindu neh.pelik er ? ;p
walopn tym tuh, suda 3thn kami brsame tp dat was d 1st tym we met after all those years of fighting, quarreling, loving, missing + compromising with each other ;p
ahaks !
Read more »

!@#$%^&*() - darn !!!

2011-09-10T12:31:00.004+08:00

arghhhhhhhhhhhh~!! ~x(

i hate it when i'm so hungry =.=" darn dis period =.="
i feel like i could eat whole =.=" haha !

darn dis mega cravings TT______TT ouh hw it made me suffer =.="

zZz~ . . .

2011-09-08T10:57:00.003+08:00

erm.
salam + morning :)

wat did i do yesterday ?
ouh ye ;)
mnghantar Mdm g airport kt kuantan.she'll b going to singapore for a few days ;)

huhu.
well, it had been 2days straight i couldnt get enough sleep bt today, alhamdulillah i did ! ^^ superhappy !

well, bknnye ape ;p melayan my favourite ppl online kt fb je ;p wahahahaha~
i was happy even til nw, i still am =)

thnx for making ma day so bright + cheery u guys ;p

well, nothing to report anyway.

lalala~

men gem ah ^^ out ! salam.

little notes : i won't let anything hurt me today :) mereka kalo x puas ati dgn wa, tny wa la weh. xyah sindir², xyah use d 3rd person sentence to me la weh. x puas ati dgn wa or care wa idop kt ats bumi Allah neh, lu bgtau wa la. ma life is not a show for u to enjoy on popcorns + soft drinks then rate it.
being egoistic + cynical are typical human beings' traits =.=" tp lu x sedar yg wat u said too will come back at u 10x fold ;p just saying. lalala~

after 3yrs. . . still so demm hard.

2011-09-04T17:44:00.014+08:00

herm.

hari neh 6 Syawal 1432H, tol ?
d day he asked me d question :)
kalo nk diikutkn, suda 6thn ia brlaku :)
d day that we were officially an item, 6yrs ago.
i still rmmber hw u asked me to b urs n where i was on dat day :)
it was d happiest day for me. to finally having someone i could give all my love to, someone that i could call 'mine' .

nw, after 6yrs.
looked at myself. i still couldnt forget u after 3yrs we each took our own way.
eventhough we carried on with our lives but i still fail to forget abt u *sigh*
why am i like this, a question i couldnt answer.
why am i still having these endless dreams abt u ?
why am i still having these feelings that i know i shouldnt for u ?
why ? *sigh*

sometyms, through all these years i kept on saying to myself that i should stop all this.
i should try harder to delete ur face. . .ur voice. . .ur perfume. . .
but whenever i tried, there will always a way for ur memories to come back rushing to me like a hurricane.

sometyms, i analysed certain scenarios inside my head that i noe will nvr EVER happen in reality.
a scene where i could have u in ma arms again or something like that *sigh*

after all those painstaking flashbacks, i wondered to myself whether YOU had the same thing happening too.
have you agonized as much as i did ?
have ur heart tried to kill you juz by a flash of my face comes into mind ?
i dunno.

little notes : updates on 25Sept2011; bru wa pasan, read more link suda rosak =.=" entri neh sbnrnye terAMATlah panjang =.=" tetibe bile nk read balik, aikkk?? link rosak =.=" demmit ! trpakse ah buang link tuh n lost half of dis entry.aisehmennn~ =.=" bru nk mood jiwang.putun stim ahhhh~!

zzz.

2011-09-04T17:35:00.001+08:00

aaaaaaaa~

rindu :|

sekian. terima kasih.

ouh nk baby. . .

2011-09-04T09:37:00.002+08:00

thn neh ramai bona bg wa kad nikah =.="
thn neh gak, ramai bona mmber² wa jd parents =.="

aiyoyoyoooo~

wa bile la plak maw ade partner buat bby neh ? =.=" wahahahaha~

ok. i tau i merepek skrng neh.
tp x bleh gak nk ignore. umur i neh sgt sesuai suda tuk mnjadi isteri + mak org neh =.="

ayoooooooooooooooo~

bile la Adam wa nk smpai neh *menungsorang²*

little notes : wa sbnrnye trnmpk pic mmber wa suda ade bby. beshnye ! ;( wa bile laie weh TT_____TT

rindu.

2011-09-03T07:46:00.002+08:00

huhhhh~
wa da bbrape ari da asyik trmmpi lu, tringt lu ;(
wa rindu sgt2 dgn lu ;(
balik la pd wa ;(
huhhhh~
hari raye patutnye happy tp cmne wa nk happy ? ;(
mdm asyik tny psl lu, wa hny mmpu kate - sabar eh; smbil senyum.
uhuk uhuk uhuk. . .
wa rinduuuu ;(
cepatla kembali pd wa ;(

Selamat Hari Raya !

2011-08-28T14:21:00.002+08:00

selamat hari raye buat kami sekeluarga tuk para bloggers yg brtandang ke sini ^^ wehehehe~
yg balik kg, drive leklok. . .brjln leklok. . .pape jelah, elok² =D

Syaitan & Hidung.

2011-08-25T11:57:00.002+08:00

salam ;p gud morning^---^

ade artikel baru nk share psl idong. ngahaha~

bace je la yep ;p

taken from UpToMu, Syaitan Dan Hidung :

ngahahaha~

so selamat bramal ! ^-^V

malas ah.

2011-08-24T21:22:00.004+08:00

wa mls nk tgk profile lu tp wa trpakse sbb Mdm asyik tny wa psl lu =.=" *sigh*
'family nk dtg, xkn x jemput ?' - heh ?
mane lu ? byg lu pn wa x nmpk ah =.="
kdg² kesian wa tgk mdm wa dok trcari² lu.cam ilang anak =.=" dok cari manjang.
bkn main lagi er ari tuh kate mcm² tp last² ? ape yg lu buat ? nothing. =.="

wa xmo emo² tp wa neh da ah tgh dtg bulan, lu da buat hal =.="
e'eh ! camni ke beb ?
lu x kesah ke kalo wa ilang trus ?
wa ilang ari tuh pn lu da susah ati, inikn lagi kalo wa ilang lagi lame dr tuh camne ?
agak² lu bleh ke nk cari wa ? haha !
lu neh, x pnh pk cam org biasenye akn pk. . . =.=" cube la pk better things + b a MAN.
betul la per wa kate dlu an lu penakut =.=" lalalala~
so tell me la if i'm wrong ! i'm DYING to know what's ur excuse gonna b =..= [hembuskuat²]
wa malas nk marah² tp lu jnji dgn sapa beb ? bkn dgn wa oke.

ahhhh~ ! malas da nk pk psl manusia yg ske buat jnji tp x pnh nk kotakn neh =.="
i DARE you to come + meet me, tell it to ma face that ur nt a pathetic loser + a coward =.="
kamon ah beb. . .wa leh bet ah, lu xkn brganjak de =.=" *smbil wat muke ndah x ndah* lalalalala~

ahh ! saket jiwa wa. out !

little notes : saye tgh moody sbb da lebih seminggu menunggu.
tp er, saye taip sprti di atas doesn't mean i love u less :p wahahaha. :skrg 520am, pala da cool:
k ah, tdo ! zZZ~

cinema : Zookeeper.

2011-08-24T20:36:00.004+08:00

ok. bru tringat nk post psl ape =D wahahaha~

let's do a quick review on Zookeeper ;p

*image credit to Mr.Google*

what can i say ? rate out of 5, i'll give it 4 and a half ;p hahaha !
so0o0o0o0o funny ^-^
mmg trgelak gile² ah. da ah iklan sblm movie neh byk promote citer for hari raye ^-^
tuh pn da trgelak gegile da ;p wehehehe.

so, u guys juz watch it + experience it for urself ;p different ppl, different views ! ahaks !

k ah.chiao~

ok la~

2011-08-24T20:28:00.003+08:00

salam =)

mase buat post neh, famili saye da pegi masjid TT___TT meninggalkn saye keseorangan.
uhuk uhuk uhuk~

well, bulan tgh mngambang.
aiseyh, kucing² brgado kedengaran di luar =.="

blub blub blub~ . . .

wa sbnrnye, tataw nk taip ape =.=" jd, wa menaip tnpa brpk dgn warasnye.so wa tataw d outcome of my writing this entry will be =.="

huhu~ . . .

little notes : wa sbnrnye menunggu seseorg neh. da nk masok 2minggu wa menunggu makhluk ciptaan Allah neh mnjelma mmberi wa jpwn.makhluk neh brhutang an explanation kpd wa =.=" huh !

)(*&^%$#@

2011-08-24T14:49:00.001+08:00

ngaa~ ok ah.

saye nk mandi =D

bye.

out ! salam ;p

little notes : actually, want to go out & watch movie ;p too bored.wahahaha~ ok bye.

anda pendiam ? woohoo~

2011-08-24T12:52:00.007+08:00

haaa~ pnh x bile kite dok brgaul dgn manusia neh. . .ade plak makhluk Allah dlm kelompok manusia tuh mengecopkn kamo sbg manusia pemalu/pendiam ?

ngahahaha~
wa nk kasi taw, wa pnh =.=" pergh !
wa ngaku wa pendiam. wa ngaku wa pemalu.
tp wa pendiam bkn brmaksudnye wa sombong oke =.=" wa adalah observer yg baik oke =.="
wa pemalu bknnye wa xmo hoohaahoohaa dgn mereka, tp wa observe dlu ;p
nk² kalo dlm groupnye tuh ramaiiiiiii plak lelaki.aiseyhmennnn~!!
wa tetibe trmalu sndiri =.=" justeru itu, wa cenderung ke arah tuk mendiamkn diri.haha !
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Ketika Bersin + Menguap.

2011-08-24T12:22:00.006+08:00

wehehe~ salam + gud noon ;p

hari neh, jln² kt fb trnmpk artikel neh ^-^
psal bersin =D
slalunye er, kalo mndgr org lain bersin, wa akn mngucapkn 'Yarhamukallah'.itupn kalau manusia yg bersin itu mngucapkn 'Alhamdulillah' =D

tp, ade ucapan yg lain selepas itu untuk si pembersin.huhuhu~
haaa~ mari². . .
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!@@##%^ - maksudnye : xde tajuk.haaa~

2011-08-23T23:41:00.004+08:00

huh~!
bile wa tgk labels er. . .bleh dkatakn out of 10, 8! yes 8 =.="
8 la aku bg bile tgk kebarangkalian aku menaip entri psl subjek neeehhhh jek =.="
hadoyaiii~

kdg² aku pn x phm nape la aku pilih topik neh =.="

Read more »

2011-08-23T22:39:00.004+08:00